Elise Sereni Patkotak

If there was ever an argument for gay marriage, it has to be the latest Kardashian marriage.

My dear friend Janis brought me back sugar free chocolate macadamia nuts from Hawaii. Knowing I could fall face first into the box if I wasn’t careful, I brought the packages upstairs and carefully stashed them in a place I would have to make some effort to retrieve them from in the hope of drawing their pleasure out.

Now if only I could find them again….. damn!

If I was being absolutely honest, I would have to admit that I’ve always preferred animals to people. They are more kind, loving and loyal and almost never want to talk during The Big Bang Theory.

I simply do not understand the point of a bed that doesn’t have a good reading light.

Many people who read my column last week felt that I was selectively picking the revolutions that fit my preconceived notion of the problems America faces today. Sure, they said, there was the French Revolution. But what about Cuba and China and Russia? Those revolutions led to communism. And what about South America and Africa where so many revolutions led to despotic rulers?

Well, folks, I’m here to tell you that you are all right. Because the point is not the revolution. The point is what caused the revolution. In each and every case you had a powerful and rich

I was watching Steven Colbert interview a people from the OWS movement and there she was… a person with female body parts named Ketchup.

OMG – my people have returned!

Bird TLC held its annual Owl-O-Ween events over the weekend. We bring our education owls to various locations and in some, the kids come in costume and get to do all kinds of fun things. So I went with my friends and their grandson to one of the events. And all I could do was wonder what the owls thought as they watched freakishly dressed humans enter the rooms.  Did they wonder how we ever became the pre-eminent species on this planet (at least in our own minds)? Did they think their caretakers had finally lost their minds, as they

Kids trick or treating in Anchorage usually have to wear their costumes under heavy winter coats. On the other hand, kids in Barrow had to wear their costumes OVER winter coats because it was so cold and the city had to have something called the Polar Bear Patrol to make sure the kids were safe from any bears wandering in town. Up there, kids really have to work for their candy.

If you were raised Catholic, I wouldn’t have to explain what All Hallow’s Eve is. Look it up, heathens!

Anyone who’d like to see how smart birds really are should come and meet the Stellar Jays that feed on the peanuts I put out on my second floor deck. They have apparently figured out that if they don’t see me through the windows wandering around upstairs, they are apt to find me by looking into my office windows downstairs. So they line up on the fence outside my office window and stare for a few minutes, then fly up to the tree branches over my deck, then return to the fence and stare at me again. This is my