Elise Sereni Patkotak

Let’s get all the disclaimers out of the way at the start. I am a devoted fan of Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me. If public broadcasting produced nothing else but that show every week, it would justify its existence. I once had a show on Barrow’s public radio station entitled, “Discount Radio”. Its motto was, “You get what you pay for and I’m a volunteer”.  I’ve also sat on the state’s public broadcasting commission, the board of KBRW and am now on the board of APTI, Anchorage’s public broadcasting organization. So I am not going to pretend to any neutrality

It’s apparently not enough that the world expected me to be slender, svelte and attractive… something I’ve never actually managed to do in my lifetime and, quite frankly, no longer care to strive for. But when they decide that dogs need diet drinks…well, really. What has the world come to. It’s name is Slendrol or something like that. I saw it at my local vet’s office. Said it helped the pounds to melt away. Well hell, if that’s true, hand me a tablespoon or two.

My dog in Barrow, Lovey, was overweight her whole life except for very early puppyhood.

It occurs to me that people who say America no longer builds or manufactures anything is wrong. We build and manufacture an army, navy and air force and at any given time, they are being exported all over the world to solve everyone’s problems. Maybe we should just stop pretending to do anything else and stick with what we seem to build best.

Went to see one of the high school basketball games played here last week as part of the state tournament. Have to admit that the best part of it was seeing old friends from Barrow again. But aside from that, I have to say that I simply do not get the attraction of sports. I can kind of get into gymnastics and ice skating during the Olympics. But football, basketball, baseball… cheering wildly… painting your face and body… crying and screaming… never understood it and fear that given my advanced age, I never will.

Seriously, why don’t we just go in and put a straight jacket on Ghaddafi and let him spend the rest of his life surrounded by his peers in a deep hole somewhere with lots of medication.

#127 – Count how many times the idiot in the vehicle racing in the icy snow in front of you spins in completes circles with his truck before getting high centered in a snow bank.

#128 – Count how many times the NEXT speeding idiot does the same thing in his/her vehicle.

#129 – While waiting for garage door to open, count how many idiots were on the icy roads with you today. Sigh in disbelief and horror. Pull into garage grateful to still be in one piece.

Don’t you just hate it when you pour your morning cup of coffee and, as you head back to your bathroom to make yourself presentable to the world, you sneeze and slop coffee all over yourself and the floor? You know a day that begins with you half asleep and on your hands and knees wiping up spilled coffee from the floor is NOT going to be a good day.

By now, just about everyone has heard this quote, or some variation of it, from Benjamin Franklin. “Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.” It’s probably been quoted more since 9/11 than just about any other Franklin quote. And the good lord knows this man was nothing if not a quote machine. So to rise to the top the way this quote has is an impressive accomplishment.

Despite the vast chasm that yawns between my Catholic schoolgirl childhood and my current totter into old age, some parts of me

The quake in Japan has me freaked. I’ll admit that freely. I don’t know how I’d ever cope with getting all my birds and dog to safety but I do know this. It will be all of us or none of us. I can’t imagine ever leaving them behind.

Since today is my shift at the Bird Center, it seems like a good time to remind everyone about the For The Birds auction this Friday at the Hilton hotel. Tickets are available through the office or go to the website http://www.birdtlc.net/ and get a ticket online. If you don’t live near here, you can always make a donation even if you can’t come to the auction. And remember, we ALWAYS can use salmon and red meat. Nothing processed, please. Has to be raw. And no halibut. But I know Alaskans are starting to empty freezers out as the next