Elise Sereni Patkotak

As Congress prepares to go back into session and finally get a grip on the deficits that are strangling our economy and our children’s financial future, I think we should stop for a moment and take a look at the latest frivolous spending that they have in their crosshairs for elimination.

Yes, middleclass Americans, I’m looking at you when I say that. Because the same people who felt the deficit was not as important as giving millionaires a tax cut have decided that the deficit is now so important they need to consider taking the mortgage tax interest deduction away

Oh lord! I leave for the wedding in three weeks and I still haven’t bought something to wear to either the wedding or the rehearsal dinner. It seemed as though I had so much time because the date was so far off but WHAM! Here it is and I have to go clothes shopping.

I should have become a nun. They have it so easy. No clothing decisions to make. No worry about mix and match. And god knows they don’t ever have to wear a bra under all those layers. If only they’d allowed sex and drugs and not

Pretend you are going to give your dog… also affectionately known as Slut Puppy… her favorite thing in the whole world – a belly rub. She flops on her back, legs akimbo, tongue hanging out the side of her mouth, tail beating furiously. Reach your hand almost to her stomach, then stop and walk away. Watch dog jump up, run in front of you and flop, belly up on the floor about a foot in front of you. Repeat hand feint. Walk away again. Watch crazed dog repeat her actions. Do this until it becomes too hard to resist the

It was not until my house started getting painted that I started to realize how many nooks and crannies can get filled with dust and bird feathers and I never even notice. But as each room is cleared out to be painted, there is always one place in it that can only be called a complete embarrassment. How did this happen to the daughter of a woman who once scrubbed the design out of the linoleum on the floor in front of her stove? Oh wait… that’s probably why it did happen.

College Village Animal Clinic here in Anchorage is the kind of place I wish all my human doctors would emulate. The vets and other staff there are among the kindest and nicest I’ve ever met. Maybe it’s directly related to the fact that you have to love animals to work there and animal lovers in general tend to be nicer than the rest of the population. I don’t know. What I do know is that with every pet I’ve had to bring there to cross the Rainbow Bridge, it was the docs and the staff who made the journey a

Blondie is freaked by explosions. Hell, let’s be truthful here. Loud noises cause her to run to the back of my clothes closet and try desperately to dig into the carpet until there is a hole big enough for her to crawl into and put a cover over it. So New Year’s Eve at my house she gets an extra special treat with her meal… one of momma’s little helpers… a pill that makes her smile blissfully as she snores loudly… until the first firecracker goes off. Then she awakens with a start and the rest of New Year’s Eve

I was never quite sure about this new social media. Being somewhat anti-social, I liked that I could control when I interacted with people and when I could just shut the modern world down and disappear into Dickens’ world. But reading all the wonderful and lovely comments from so many readers over my loss of Blue has made me a convert. What a great community of people you all are. Thank you for all the love and sympathy you’ve extended to me. Blondie and I hug each other a lot and talk about Blue’s enthusiasm for food if not for

And so we now come to that time of each year when I announce the 2010 nominees for my very own Hall of Infamy. This year has seen an absolute embarrassment of riches when it comes to potential inductees. Need I say more than “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”?  Or Tony Hayward?

So let’s get right to those who have been so icky, yucky, sleazy and otherwise distasteful as to immediately leap into retirement in the permanent wing of the hall. This is a very prestigious honor. Currently only Dick Cheney, Tom Cruise and Katy Holmes and that thing on Donald Trump’s

As I wade through the nominations for the 2010 Hall of Infamy I realize that each year the list grows longer and longer and becomes harder and harder to sift through. So I’m considering lumping all political nominees for the honor into the general category of US Congress and that way I won’t have to worry about differentiating them.