Elise Sereni Patkotak

Never throw anything out that falls off or out of something. You never know when someone will visit who will recognize what it is and fix whatever broke.

My Blue is still alive. She’ll only eat if I sit and feed her one piece at a time and I don’t care. She’s loved me all these years and now I’ll show my love for her. She’s not in pain. She still spends her days sniffing around the bird cages for any treats they may accidentally throw her way and my promise to her is that when she is no longer enjoying life, I will make the hard decision and take that sad last drive with her.

Since Joe Miller hasn’t gone away yet, and Sarah Palin still has ghostwriters trying to make her look minimally intelligent, I have to say that the best present I got this year was when the plumber cut into the ceiling of my spare bedroom to find out why the ceiling was falling down from a leak and came back with the news that it was just a drain and not a catastrophe.  Thank you, gods of leaks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LyviyF-N23A

If you’ve ever lived in Alaska, and especially the Bush, this will hold very special meaning to you. And even if you haven’t, this is the kind of smile Christmas should always put on your face.

My brother, sister and I recently sold the property back East where we grew up. My family had lived there since 1947.

We’d grown up in one neighborhood, all gone to St. Michael’s grade school, remembered the same nuns and priests and knew all the neighbors.  It wasn’t until I grew up and met people who didn’t come from Ducktown in Atlantic City that I realized how lucky I was that I lived in one place my whole childhood.

So on the one hand, selling the property had very emotional overtones. 6 North meant home and family and childhood and

I figure a day will come when I can no longer spends winters in Anchorage because of the snow and ice and cold. But until then, I must admit that I find winter in Anchorage when the snow is falling and my fireplace is blazing and the dogs are snorting and snoring next to me while the birds mutter softly in their sleep room the most peaceful and amazingly comforting time of my life.

We should take the money we just gave to the richest one percent of this country when we extended their tax breaks and give it to the 9/11 responders who are dying daily from cancers and other illnesses brought on by their heroic work over the weeks and months that followed that horrific attack.

But no, our congress prefers to give lip service to them, use 9/11 to drum up fake patriotism and fake wars, but not to pay these people for going so above and beyond the call of duty that most of us will never begin to understand

Blame it on the fact that the carpet has been taken up preparatory to putting new flooring down. Since I have been sliding this office chair over carpeting here for the last ten years, and since some habits are harder to break than others, I am constantly swerving around and pushing off with the strength I would need if there were still carpeting on the floor. But, as I mentioned, there isn’t. So I slide with some force and speed into the first object in my way.

I’m not proud of this. It’s just the way it is.

I’d mostly like to marry him but given the age difference, I’m guessing he would find that too icky for words. Besides, much more than wanting to sleep with him, I want to live with him. I want to wake up every day to that insanity which puts the rest of the world in such amazing perspective.

Please adopt me, Ricky. You won’t need to give me any money or anything. Promise. Just give me a chance to prove I can be a good mum to you.

Seriously, he is the funniest man working today. And if you don’t believe