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What happens when your aunt catches you and you can’t escape her red, red lips

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Didn’t you just hate it when your aunts did this to you on the holidays?  Yep, Rhodes’ Auntie Mame is going to make his life fun and exciting always… and he’ll always know when she’s around by the marks on his cheek. All I can say is, “Be grateful, Rhodes. My aunts used to make my cheeks red by pinching them. A mouthful of lipstick is much less painful, even if you are a guy.”

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Columns 2009

When did we become so selfish?

One of the questions that must be asked as the health care debate rages on is just what type of society we are or want to be.

The reason humans first banded together those many millennia ago was because communal life provided better protection against the wildness and dangers it contained.  But living together only worked if the rules of the society in which you lived made life better than facing the lions and tigers and bears that inhabited the primeval forests alone.

So humankind made rules for its societies. It created both spoken and unspoken codes of conduct that,

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Allen and Smith

I think anytime multi millionaires are put in jail that they should be required to pay us for the privilege. Call me selfish, but I am hard pressed to understand why I’m paying for Bill Allen and Rick Smith to have someplace to live and eat for free for the next few years.

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New Jersey Gubernatorial Election

I was in New Jersey for the end of the race and the election. I can only say that both candidates came across as sleazy, even by Jersey standards which are even lower than Alaska standards… proving there is no bottom that politicians can’t reach. But honestly, when Corzine’s campaign started making innuendos about his opponent’s weight – as though being fat meant you couldn’t govern, let alone the unspeakable rudeness of calling attention to someone’s weight like that… well, let’s just say I’m very glad he lost. What a pig.

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What am I missing?

Vic Kohring has probably the best lawyer he can’t afford representing him in a case that could potentially send him back to jail for years and he sues that lawyer over an accident, thereby losing his services in the criminal case and ending up with a court appointed public defender. If this is any indication of his intelligence, maybe he should be locked up for his own good.

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Air travel simply sucks

Do I really have to say anything else?  I do? How about getting my bags with the zipper opened one quarter of the way around and my underwear hanging out because TSA couldn’t be bothered to put the twist tie back on after checking to make sure my underwear wasn’t a bomb?

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Green Dolphin Street and the Parrot

A long, long time ago when I was a child, my mother had two books on her bookshelf that I was not allowed to read. One was called Gentian Hill and one was called Green Dolphin Street. Eventually I got far enough into my teens to be allowed to read them. I read them and promptly forgot about them, without ever hearing from my mother why they had been forbidden.

A few weeks ago, I started thinking about these books and wondering what had been in them that had been so adult that I was not allowed to read them

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Columns 2009

When will we put our money where our mouth is?

Once again the headlines tell a sad, sad story. American children are still killed by their parents or caregivers with disgusting regularity. An article in the Oct. 27 Anchorage Daily News quoted a report from the national child advocacy group, Every Child Matters, that 16 children died in Alaska due to parental abuse from 2001 to 2007. The report added that those 16 were only the documented number; the real number is probably much higher.

Perhaps even more frightening, Alaska public health researchers reported in 2008 that over the past eleven years, 114 babies had died “from abuse, neglect or

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Columns 2009

Respect in political life

As I listen to the commercials being broadcast endlessly about health care reform and its alleged dire circumstances to seniors on Medicare, what sticks in my mind is the ending to one of the commercials. It is simply a senior saying, “Seniors won’t forget”. The not too subtle threat is that if a politician votes for health care, senior citizens will vote en masse to turn him or her out of office.

And so my last hope for civil discourse crumbles as the only age group who could possibly still remember what civil discourse sounds like makes a move to

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