Elise Sereni Patkotak

Sarah is actually the babe that South Carolina’s governor was seeing in Argentina and they are just waiting for his term to be up so they can be together forever.

Today’s the day we bury Michael Jackson. I am personally disappointed. I thought for sure he’d rise on the third day.

Am I the only one who thinks that if you put Sean Parnell in a lineup, at least 60% of Alaskans would not be able to pick him out of the group?

Sarah woke up the other day and was restless. She looked in the mirror and thought, “Maybe I should change my hairdo.  Oh, better idea, I’ll change my eye shadow color.  Oh, wait. I’ll resign as governor. Yeah, that’s the ticket.”

Once, what seems like a lifetime ago, I went back East to visit family in July. A friend from Barrow accompanied me. She was 14 years old. We stopped to say hi to Grandpop Rocco. Grandpop had come to America from Italy in the early part of the last century. My friend, being Inupiat, could track her roots on this continent back thousands of years.

As I introduced them, Grandpop stuck his hand out, smiled that beautiful smile of his and said to her… with an English/Italian accent that was thicker than the sauce on his Sunday pasta… “Welcome to

I was just sitting down to stare at a blank piece of paper and wonder what my column would be about next week. Then the lovely Sarah announces her resignation and my problem is solved on one level. On the other level, how do I choose from the myriad possibilities of how to address the concept of someone going from Wasilla mayor to national political figure with little if anything of substance to show for her time on the public stage? It will be an interesting weekend as my brain churns all the possibilities.

Went out for breakfast last week and noticed that the menu contained a children’s meal with a note that it was also available to seniors. The main draw of the meal was smaller portions of everything which suits me just fine. So I asked the waitress what the age qualification was to be considered a senior for purposes of ordering that special and she looked at me and instantly replied, “Oh, don’t worry about that, honey. You can order it.”

Damn! What happened to the days when I got carded to see if I was actually 21. Now I can’t

I can’t imagine ever again living in a place where I can’t look up in the sky and see an eagle circling overhead.