Am I the only one who feels as though the days are dragging by slower and slower? Each day I hold my breath and pray that the Current Occupier and his minions don’t do anything more to wreck our country or world in the short time they have left. And each day I have to quell the impulse to run to Washington DC and stand in front of the White House yelling, “Get out! Get out! Get out right now!”
Baby, it’s cold out there!
I start with a pair of long johns. Then I pull a pair of heavy knee socks up over them. Then I pull on heavy wool sweatpants. Then I put a T-shirt on, then a sweatshirt over that. I sit down and put on yet another pair of socks before finally putting on my walking shoes with Yak-trax. I somehow heave my body up and put on a coat liner, followed by a woman’s parka from Barrow that goes halfway down my calf. I pull up the hood with a warm fur ruff to protect my face from the cold.
Living in Alaska means….
….never actually admitting you’re cold. No matter how frigid it gets, the true Alaskan sucks it up, puts on twelve layers of clothes, and pretends they still enjoy walking the dogs. Of course, my dogs have reached the point where they aren’t sure at all that they want to take a walk. And that’s probably a significant factor when deciding whether to go or not.
I can understand why someone as antisocial as I am may find Facebook the perfect page to interact with people without ever actually having to encounter people, but I’m going to be very depressed if this means the rest of the world is as antisocial as I am. Then what’s the point?
It’s nice to find out early that the year will suck
First Monday morning of the year and I woke up late. Ran to let the dogs out, shower, feed the animals and get down to my computer in time to answer the mail before I ran out to do all the errands that had been neglected over the holidays while still making it to Curves, my chiropractic appointment and the dogs’ walk. Forgot to pick up the paper. Ran to the front door to grab it. Wondered why it’s so thick when they’ve just announced it’s going down in size again. Pull off the orange plastic sleeve and realize it’s
Giving through the PFD
I filed for my PFD yesterday. I did it online like so many Alaskans are doing. It’s so darn convenient. The easiest money most of us will ever make. Just point and click and VOILA! come this October, the state will give you free money. So while you’re earning these easy dollars, do yourself and our community a favor and choose to point and click on the arrow that lets you donate part of your PFD to one of the many charities listed on the website. It’s free money you and I haven’t really earned. And a little of it
I dream of a paperless society
I have the dreaded blue box out…the blue box my friend Janis got me to buy years ago when I bought my first house…the box I throw all my papers in all year that I think might be critical to save or use for taxes…and now the time I dread every year has arrived. I have to actually pull out the bulging wads of crumpled papers and make sense of them and wonder why I have so many receipts from so many vets and pet stores and wonder even further if that may be why I have lots of paper
Big penises
Maybe I am reaching the old prude stage. Maybe I just have some semblance of good taste left. Maybe I just reach the end of my rope faster now. But I am SOOOO tired of going to websites I visit regularly for any number of reasons…ok, they are mostly sites on Comics.com….and finding myself facing obnoxious ads about bigger penises. Do men not get that it’s not size that counts half as much as technique? I mean, how old do they have to be before it sinks in their tiny little brains that if they don’t know what to do
Just to clear up any confusion
The inductees into the permanent hall of infamy are the senators mentioned at the end of the column. All the others will just have to try a little harder next year.
I proudly present my 2008 Hall of Infamy
Following a time honored tradition, today’s column will reflect my selections for my annual Hall of Infamy. People, places and/or things inducted into this hall are those that annoyed and irritated me more than usual last year. As always, we will end the induction ceremony with another inductee retired to a permanent room of dishonor in the Hall.
People talking on cell phones get a nod in this column every year, but this year I want to be a little more specific and send out a Bronx raspberry to those people who talk into their phones via tiny sets stuck