Elise Sereni Patkotak

The problem is that it sometimes takes two to three hours of continuous play to get them to accept your money without trying to give some back.

Thank you. I am grateful all the snow came down before I got back from the East Coast so I get to enjoy the beauty without the hassle of driving on Anchorage roads with idiots who have never heard the words “snow tires” or “slow down when the roads are icy”.

All the snow has come down, right?

Here are my current questions about air travel.

1. Will I ever see my ankles again?

2. How do some people get in an airplane seat and not get up again for the entire seven hour flight? What kind of bladders do they have?

3. Why are all airlines seats made out of rock?

4. Why am I willing to buy food at a McDonald’s in an airport but NEVER, EVER go to one when I’m not?

5. Why do I eat so much in airports when I’m traveling? Is it just boredom during layovers that drives me to the

I’m home with my little family of birds and dogs. There is lots of snow on the ground, the air is crisp and my finger tips are already cracking open and bleeding with joy. My house sitter, whose name I will not reveal for fear she will get so busy I’ll never be able to get her back when I need her, has set the bar high for my dogs’ expectations of what their day should be like. I try to explain that having her here was like their three weeks at a spa. They should enjoy it but know

There are two things you have to get up at 6 AM to start cooking if you want them ready for a meal that day…turkey and scrapple. In the case of scrapple, you must cook it on a painstakingly low light for an extremely long time to get the crust just right with the inside just soft enough. If you don’t, you might actually taste the pig snout.

You Hawaiians, Alaskans and all people west of the Mississippi can have your Spam. We Eastcoasters have scrapple, a delightful melange meat that is not afraid to boast it includes gournd pig snout.  Grab some ketchup and follow me to Nirvana.

I don’t know. Maybe here in the lower ‘48, turkeys magically appear all trussed up and ready to be eaten without ever having actually gone through the bother of living. At least, that’s the impression one gets from the reaction of people here to Sarah’s unfortunate moment at the turkey farm. While it may not have been her best PR moment ever, the reaction of some people down here would lead you to think that they actually had no idea that the turkey they ate at Thanksgiving ever actually gobbled and breathed.  Really, folks, if you are going to eat

I lost forty dollars at the penny slot machines which means this investment strategy for my future is as solid an any other I’ve indulged in. On the other hand, at least I had some fun losing it. My investments lost more than forty dollars in the same amount of time and gave me absolutely no pleasure in the losing.  Slot machines: 1 Investing in the marker:  0