The Anchorage Daily News has announced its choice for president and I’m getting requests for mine. Check my column this week. It will answer all your questions – not only who, but why.
Well, I’m relieved now
George Bush is having an economic conference. Whew. Now I feel better. The good days can’t be far away if Bush puts his mind to the problem…what’s that you say? Yes, he does. He does too have a brain…ok, he has a head and something in it and I don’t care what you think, it’s only common courtesy to assume it’s a brain. Now go out and spend money. George is going to save our savings, just as soon as they finish the show and tell presentation that will explain to him what the word economy means.
Why Twinkies
I’ve been asked why I used the Twinkie metaphor in my column this week. It’s because I think Twinkies personify what has happened to America. We no longer get homemade cake from mom’s comfy kitchen. We get Twinkies…pure plastic and chemicals formed to imitate what a real cake once looked like. Twinkies…the cake with a shelf life longer than the sun’s life expectancy. It’s the Britany Spears of fast desserts.
It’s so nice to know
It’s so nice to know that as people go hungry and lose their homes, the Republican Party still has enough money to buy Palin a $150,000 wardrobe makeover. Because I want my small town hockey mom VP candidate to look good while Rome burns. And it seems wrong to ask her to shop in WalMart where she’ll run into all us seniors who can no longer afford to live without being a WalMart greeter. That would just depress her perky smile…or, at least, I think it would.
The good news is that when Sarah comes home, she’ll be donating her
The rich are so different
Here’s how it works in my world. If I want renovations done on my home, I call a contractor. I tell him exactly what I want. He provides an estimate. I gulp and realize once again that my wallet and dreams live in two different zip codes. I reassess my wants. He renegotiates his costs. I give him a down payment. He starts work. He bills me periodically throughout the job. I pay the bills. When it’s done, we shake hands…assuming we are still talking to each other at that point, which is usually six months later than estimated…and go
This is how wealthy I am
I woke up the other day to find a moose browsing in my back yard. My little crippled Stellar Jay was back for his peanuts so I know he made it through another night in the wild. My house was warm, I had food and water for myself and my animals. A tray of lasagna sat in my refrigerator waiting to be baked for my company that night. I have an insurance plan that pays for my medications. I have dogs and birds who love me and fill my life with joy. I am the wealthiest woman I know…even if
Is it possible?
Now that the economy has tanked, is it possible we will stop getting e-mails from Nigeria telling us they have money in the bank just waiting for us to get it if we only send them….well, you know the game. Now that no one has any money, will this look more attractive to some people? Or will people figure no one has that kind of money left and just send the e-mail to their spam box? And seriously, who the hell still believes those e-mails?
Moose and Alaskans
I was on my usual walk with my dogs when the car pulled up, the lady lowered her window, and shouted out that there was a moose eating shrubbery on the corner I was approaching and she didn’t think I could see it from my angle until I was almost on it. I thanked her kindly and crossed to the other side of the street so as not to pass too close to the moose. She turned her car around and proceeded down the street in the same direction as I was going. She stopped at the corner. I thought
Arab or good family man
Someone at a campaign stop asked John McCain if it was true that Barack Obama was an Arab. He responded, “No. He’s a good family man.” Huh? So you can’t be both an Arab and a good family man? Someone put McCain in a retirement home, please. He’s obviously losing whatever brain functioning he once may have had.
I could not be sorrier
Upon hearing word that Sarah Palin has whipped crowds into frenzies that leave them screaming Terrorist and Kill Him about Barack Obama, I can only say how truly sorry I am that someone like that is representing my state in any fashion. Isn’t that what Hitler did to justify murdering Jews? Is this really what Palin wants to do to move her national political career forward? There is a lot of discontent among Alaska’s First People because they feel this governor has ignored them and is no friend of theirs or their concerns. When she acts like this, she merely