Elise Sereni Patkotak

Why is must be that sun that everyone talks about.  We haven’t seen it in Anchorage for so long that when it first appeared it scared me. I figured it was a giant spy satellite set up by DickieC to make sure I adhered to his definition of America.

So I’m bringing my trash cans out a few days ago when one of the little urchins from a house nearby peddles his trike over, looks at me intently and then asks if I have any teeth.  So I open my mouth, point in and allow as how I do. To which he replies something about old people not having teeth. To which I respond that not only do I have teeth, but they are all mine (he’s too young to understand implants!). I then smile at him and give him a full view of my pearly yellowish whites. At

So we’re on our daily walk when Blondie suddenly goes into full alert status, staring straight ahead, straining to keep something in sight.  Only she’s the only one who seems to see it.  She continues on full alert as we approach the spot where the invisible seems to be. We get to the spot. She stands there a moment. Looks around.  Then casually wanders off.  And I have to wonder what she saw…what she thought she saw…whether she has finally lost her grip on that small portion of her mind that wasn’t addled already. 

I saw the annual Arctic Thunder air show yesterday here in Anchorage. Am I the only one who left there feeling VERY, VERY horny?  And why is that?

Conservative Republicans scream the loudest about any preferential programs based on racial or gender discrimination. Yet they have no problem with political discrimination being used to get people who mirror their political beliefs jobs in the Justice Department, especially when those people are not as qualified as liberal candidates. So it’s ok to exercise political discriminate against the best and the brightest if that’s what it takes to get your somewhat dumb people jobs at the Justice Department but it’s not ok to use race or gender for the same purpose. I’m just asking because I want to make sure

Why is it that my dogs will be sick all night if I accidentally drop a piece of cooked chicken skin on the floor and they eat it before I can pick it up but they can drink filthy water out of pools along the side of the road when we walk and be perfectly fine? What am I missing here?

So for a financial donation to its well being, the City of Barrow renamed itself Jolt, USA for the day of the summer solstice. Apparently there were cans of Jolt for everyone to help them through the longest day of the year. And I only have two questions. One, have the kids come down yet from their caffeine high? And two, did anyone mention to Jolt that the sun hasn’t set in Barrow since May so really, the solstice is just part of the longest day of Barrow’s year?