Do you miss me while I’m on this road trip? If your food is there on time, does it even matter? Are you torturing the dog because there is no one there to say, “Bad birds” when you call him and he thinks it’s me and he tries to find me in the house? Are you shredding and pooping on everything in sight to express your displeasure in the fact that your routine has been disrupted even though Nick gives you a lot of love and attention? These are the thoughts of a mother who leaves her four parrots and
The life of a bird owner
Here’s how you know you are over the top as a bird owner. Your birds make screeching sounds that pierce eardrums and make all civilized conversation impossible while you have company visiting and all you can do is smile and exclaim what superior creatures they truly are while your guests hurl themselves down the stairs in a frantic attempt to get away from the noise.
The plants made it through at least today
With a little prayer, a little sun and a lot of stakes holding them up, my plants made it through till my company arrived. A quick glance at my front lawn seems to indicate they gave up the ghost immediately afterwards.
Reliable? Just reliable?
Someone told me recently that I was one of the most reliable people they knew. And I thought to myself, “Reliable? Really?” I wanted to go out with a reputation more along the lines of wild, dangerous, unpredictable, a force to be reckoned with. But reliable? I feel like my father’s station wagon. And not in the good way.
It just seems to me…
…that once you’ve been married four times and had a child in almost every relationship and all of them have been in the papers, you should not be asking the general public to give you some space and privacy during this difficult time. You should be on your hands and knees begging your children’s forgiveness for having the attention span of a gnat and the rutting habits of a mentally challeneged toad.
Today summer officially begins at my house
My sister and two friends arrive tonight from the East Coast. Let the Alaska summer fun begin.
The death zone…my front yard
Having spent a good deal of my life in the Arctic, I think I come by my spectacular lack of gardening skills honestly. In my 27 years in Barrow, the only thing I successfully grew in my yard was a wonderful little patch of tundra grass that seemed to be fine growing all by itself. All I had to do each spring was look out the window and tell it how pretty it was.
Over the course of the decades, many houseplants came to live with me only to die after a very short visit. The cause of death was
A hint that will save you some grief
When your mouse starts to act funny, try taking the little ball out and cleaning out the accumulated dust that is covering the contact points. This works much better than banging the mouse repeatedly on your desk while screaming, “For what I paid, you damn well better not be broken so soon.”
Can i still claim to revere life if I take pleasure in squashing mosquitoes?
Well, can I? Because if god differentiates between cute and not cute in making that decision, the Paris Hilton’s of this world win.
Pirates of the Carribean thumbnail review
It is worth the price of admission just to watch Johnny Depp run/walk in any given scene. The man is an amazing actor when even his walk has character.