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I can rest now

Are you like me?  Are you glad the Olympics have ended?  I was absolutely exhausted from all that armchair athletics I was doing. I’ll need at least two weeks of sleep to catch my breath before I can even think of starting to prepare for the summer Olympics in two years.

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I guess getting in shape really isn’t a bad idea

Despite the pain it has taken to get in even relatively good shape, and despite the fact that exercising will never rank higher than number 153 on my list of favorite things to do, I must admit that I am periodically confronted with proof positive that it works. A few years ago, when I was much heavier and not in very good shape, I fell on the ice and ended up in an emergency room with the kinds of bumps, bruises and contusions that are very painful but not visible enough to get you a whole lot of sympathy.  Yesterday

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I must ask in all seriousness…

Does the government have a room somewhere in a bland ugly building in Maryland where they store people who write the language used for government grants so that they don’t accidentally leak into the gene pool?  Inquiring minds want to know.

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Ice walking should count twice

In my humble opinion, when you have to walk on ice for your daily consitutional, and you take along an old dog who slips and slides and has to be carried to the few non-icy spots, god should let each step count twice so you can finish your walk quickly and get to safety before you break your keister.  And I don’t even know what a kiester is…or how to spell it.

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Did you ever…

Did you ever have one of those days where you wake up and there are just too many words in the world and they are all in your mind whirling madly?  Am I the only one?

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It’s been found

The book excerpt has been found. The pages are as god meant them to be. All is well in my world.  And yet the Luddite in me still wishes for a time when stamps were a lot more important than they are today. I mean, how badly could you screw that up? Put the wrong amount on the letter?  Paste the stamp on upside down? Forget to lick the envelope shut?

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Oh god, I’ve done it now

This is my payback for thinking I can actually use one of these infernal machines.  I tried to change the excerpt available in the book section and now there is nothing there.  Puff.  All gone. Disappeared into the ether. As though it never existed. And I once again ask myself, what the hell was the problem with just writing letters in the first place.

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Columns 2006

Special Olympics just that…special

It’s one of those silly discussions that periodically convulse the world of competitive figure skating. At the last Olympics, it was all about the judging and the numbers and the fact that kings and queens were crowned long before the competition actually took place.

So the ice skating world heaved it hoar encrusted body enough to create a new set of rules for judging competitions.  And then promptly figured out a way to use them to still crown a preconceived winner before a blade has hit Olympic ice.  Was there anyone who tuned into the Olympics for even a minute

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A day with the birds

I should probably only ever take my blood pressure after my morning at Bird TLC.  I realized today that whenever I leave there, I’m smiling.  Who smiles after being so intimate with rotting fish and eagle poop?  And yet, it brings me joy.

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pictures

It’s Monday

image

It’s Monday.  The circle in front of my house is a frozen sheet of ice. Walking my dog takes the balance of a ballet dancer and the strength of superman just to get to the other side of the street without breaking anything valuable.  I went to mail stuff at the post office only to find it closed.  My nose hurts.  My brain doesn’t want to function and I think I may be losing my fine sense of perspective on life. I should go to Curves but mostly I just want to go back to bed. Tuesday can’t get here

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