Jessica who? And why should I care?

AOL has a headline about someone named Jessica Simpson snubbing a GOP fundraiser. At least, I think that’s the story. I didn’t read past the headlines because 1. I don’t care and 2. I don’t care.  If people want an inane and ultimtely useless headline, they should just ponder why I am going to die so poor while someone like Jessica Simpson (who does something that has apparently made her famous but I can’t figure out what it is) is going to die very rich.  Oh God!  Do you think it’s the blond bimbo factor?  I was never good at being blond (all the hair on the back of my head fell off one day when I was in the middle of my bleached blond period – that could have had something to do with the fact that I was doing the bleaching myself).  And I couldn’t carry off bimbo with the help of a wheelbarrow and entire NFL team. 

So I guess I’m doomed to poverty unless I can figure out a way for people to pay me for just being…which is apparently what Jessica has so successfully done.