As I head out to shop

As I head out to shop, I have to ask exactly who made up these stupid fashion rules? Why can’t you wear stripes and plaids together? Why will the world end if I wear brown shoes with black pants?  Why the hell can’t I wear white after Labor Day?  Will the earth stop spinning? If I walk out in public dressed in pants with one pattern and a shirt in another will democracies fall?  And why does everyone but me think that a dressy sweatshirt is a contradiction in terms?