Even I find the relationship too sick for words

Look, I’m about as animal crazy as you can get. My birds and dogs absolutely come first in my life and the wild birds I take care of come second. People are a distant third. My friends and family made peace with that reality a long time ago. But even I find the relationship between the chimp that ripped a woman’s face off last week and his owner way over the line. She apparently gave him wine in long stem glasses while feeding him rich foods as he sat at her dinner table (it’s no wonder he weighed two hundred pounds), cuddled in bed with him at night (oh sweet lord, make that be all she did with him in bed!) and let him brush her hair before they went to sleep. And that’s just what she’s admitting to. Imagine what might have been going on that she didn’t admit to. OK, now I have to go pour acid on my mind’s eyes to get rid of that image.

And now he’s dead for the crime of acting like what he actually was… a wild animal. And she walks around looking dazed at the thought that he wasn’t really her middle aged, somewhat hairy, male life partner.

Please, whatever state or county she lives in, pass a law prohibiting her from ever having another animal for the rest of her life!