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If I’m found crushed between my desk and office chair

Blame it on the fact that the carpet has been taken up preparatory to putting new flooring down. Since I have been sliding this office chair over carpeting here for the last ten years, and since some habits are harder to break than others, I am constantly swerving around and pushing off with the strength I would need if there were still carpeting on the floor. But, as I mentioned, there isn’t. So I slide with some force and speed into the first object in my way.

I’m not proud of this. It’s just the way it is.