How to have fun without spending money

Pretend you are going to give your dog… also affectionately known as Slut Puppy… her favorite thing in the whole world – a belly rub. She flops on her back, legs akimbo, tongue hanging out the side of her mouth, tail beating furiously. Reach your hand almost to her stomach, then stop and walk away. Watch dog jump up, run in front of you and flop, belly up on the floor about a foot in front of you. Repeat hand feint. Walk away again. Watch crazed dog repeat her actions. Do this until it becomes too hard to resist the unending well of optimism shown by a dog who will repeat this throughout the entire house until you actually rub her belly. Then fall face first onto her belly and give her the best belly rub ever.

Repeat this whenever you need amusement or cheer in your life.