Elise Sereni Patkotak

If I tried to feed my dogs carrots, they would sniff, turn their noses up and walk away insulted. But if they find half chewed carrots in the bottom of the bird cage, seasoned with just a tad of bird poop….well, then we’re talking veritable feast.

There was an article in the paper the other day about a cat killed by a loose pit bull. The pit bull owner was all over the pages apologizing for not making sure he’d locked his animals in the yard securely before leaving for work. The cat owner apparently felt no such need to apologize for the fact that her cat was running loose at 4 AM.  Birds are building nests and fledging their young. Cats kill these little birds all the time because their owners think that cats have some god given right to roam as they please. And

Please oh please Hillary. Do the honorable thing and drop out and heal the party. Leave me respecting you at least a little. And a little respect is all I have left at this point for both you and Bill.

Almost all science fiction about visitors from outer space is predicated on those visitors being advanced civilizations with earth being a backward little backwater.  But what if we find life on other planets and it turns out WE are the intelligent life form and they are the primitives? How depressing would that be?

I’d feel a lot sorrier for George Bush about all his former staff who are coming out with books telling the truth about the lies and deceptions his administration is built on were it not for the fact that if you are an administration of lies and deceits, then these are the type of people you attract. Live with it. The American people have had to for eight years.

I saw a kid on a skateboard talking on a cell phone today. Thus endeth the last hope for civilization to have a bright future.

So now airlines are going to charge for every piece of checked luggage in an attempt to make up revenue. Here’s a better idea. Charge for every piece of carry on luggage instead. It would cut down dramatically on the amount of stuff people try to shove into overhead bins and under their feet, cut boarding prep time in half since you’d just go find your seat and sit down, and create a much better feeling about you among passengers who didn’t try to shove their baby grand piano into a bag and then insist it could fit in the

OK, now I’m really depressed. Not only did I pay over $300 to get my plumbing fixed, resulting in my toilet seat now being cold instead of warm, but a friend from college just e-mailed me to tell me she had a face lift, lost 30 lbs. and has an insatiable Italian boyfriend.  I think I’ll go to bed and stay under the covers until Labor Day.