OK, now I’m really depressed. Not only did I pay over $300 to get my plumbing fixed, resulting in my toilet seat now being cold instead of warm, but a friend from college just e-mailed me to tell me she had a face lift, lost 30 lbs. and has an insatiable Italian boyfriend. I think I’ll go to bed and stay under the covers until Labor Day.
Go ride a bike
“When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope seems hardly worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a good spin down the road, without thought of anything but the ride you are taking. …” – Arthur Conan Doyle
Doyle may have been on to something with this idea. As National Bike Month winds down, summer here begins. And summer, plus gas prices that will cause you to retch every time you fill up the old SUV, makes for great bike riding time in Anchorage. So I think we should
Dear readers, thought you should know
If you read my column in the Anchorage Daily News, you should know that the paper had a difference of opinion with me over what constituted material that can run in a family paper. So I apologize for the edited version of the column that appears in the paper today and urge you to check back here tomorrow when the full, unedited, unexpurgated version will appear on this website. Prepare to cover your children’s eyes.
When will I learn to leave well enough alone?
So my toilet breaks and I have to call the plumber because the water won’t stop running. While he’s here fixing the myriad things that turn out to be wrong with it, I ask him why the seat always seems warm, like hot water is flowing in. He said that something that separates the hot and cold water flowing into my pipes was probably breaking. He fixed it. So now, when I get up in the middle of the night to use the toilet, instead of a nice warm, inviting seat, I get a cold ring of plastic. And I
Memorial Day
I get tears in my eyes when I see young men and women in uniform here in Anchorage because I worry that next year, they will be part of our Memorial Day remembrances because of the stupidity, hubris and totally evil minds of the current group of people sitting in offices in Washington who honestly do not deserve the right to clean the toilets of these brave young men and women. I want a Memorial Day in which the only thing we will need to memorialize is the death of war and the birth of peace.
Why being a Bird TLC volunteer is so worth it
I know there are many family and friends who think I get a little nuts about birds. And I am proud to proclaim they are absolutely right. But if you ever want to know what the reward is or whether plumping up dead mice and cutting up smelly salmon to feed them is worth it, go to http://www.kivitv.com/global/video/flash/popupplayer.asp?ClipID1=2504967&h1=Bald%20Eagle%20Gets%20New%20%27Made-in-Boise%27%20Beak&vt1=v&at1=News&d1=181167&LaunchPageAdTag=News&activePane=info&rnd=66755278
Beauty was a bird that came to Bird TLC here in Anchorage. We kept her for a year before we were able to find the placement she now has. I got to feed her every week. Her patience with us fumbling humans
Plumbers
There’s a reason plumbers get paid more per hour than I can ever hope to see in this lifetime or the next as a writer. It’s because you can apparently survive without your morning paper during that brief morning interlude on the toilet before the day begins in earnest. You may be bored, but you’ll survive. On the other hand, if that toilet isn’t working…well, there you have it. That’s why they get paid so well. And are so worth it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a morning paper to peruse.
My dogs are almost trainable
I have replaced 99% of the carpeting in my house with fake tile and pergo flooring in order to make it more pet friendly. Actually, more owner friendly since it’s so much easier to clean messes off of fake tile and pergo. So why do my dogs persist in finding that 1% of carpeting left in the house when they want to barf or drag their butt across the floor? And why can some people train their dogs to do an entire dance with them and I can barely train my dogs to give me enough leg room that I’m
Making a neighborhood
It’s racing towards summer in Anchorage. People finally feel safe putting their snow shovels away and getting their wading boots and rakes out. Studded tires are removed and replaced by sweetly quiet regular tires that give new meaning to a smooth ride…unless, of course, you accidentally drop off into the pothole from hell that seems to follow me around town like a puppy.
This is one of those times of the year when you have to be careful what you say to relatives outside if you don’t want to get that awkward silence that always follows when you make a
Movies I saw this weekend
Juno – cute but seriously, in what world is that even minimally close to the reality of teen pregnancies.
There Will Be Blood – watched the whole thing and still can’t figure out why the Day-Lewis character was so damned mad. Was he just another drunk? And his kid… who was holding him at the beginning of the movie? Was that his dad? What happened to him? Do I really care?….hmm, interestingly not.
Michael Clayton – ohmygod…a literate, intelligent movie with dialog that you actually have to pay attention to and isn’t just filler between explosions. If George Clooney hadn’t