Today I have my first cataract removed. I am in great fear of the first time I”ll look in the mirror after it’s been removed and I can somewhat see again. Will I see an old wrinkled face looking out at me that will make me want to run screaming from the room? Maybe I should just smear Vaseline on the mirror.
Under the bad mother category
Seriously, who knew that birds could get seasick? I was just trying to get Abdul used to sitting on the handlebars of the bike so we could take a ride together. So I put her on the handlesbars and went out into the circle and went around a few times. She looked at me, opened her mouth and barfed all over me. Or was that a comment on my bike riding ability?
The clean air of Anchorage?
I wish scientists would make up their minds. On the one hand, Anchorage comes in as the 8th cleanest city for breathable air. On the other hand, we have some of the highest pollen counts in the world for people who suffer from allergies. So from what I can gather from these facts, we are breathing in the cleanest possible pollen on the planet. Yea us! Now pass the Zyrtec.
Mike Gravel, hero of the debate
No matter what else you think of him, he was the only thing in the so called debate of way too many Democrats running for the White House that kept me from running out of the room screaming. Can’t we just pass a law restricting running for the presidency until 30 days before the election? It will save us all a lot of money, force the media to follow real news and force the candidates to tell us where they stand in a succinct manner. All of which will contribute greatly to the survival of civilization.
If I had my druthers….
I wish that doctors and their staff would understand that what’s routine for them because they A. see it every day and B. it’s not their body being discussed, is not routine for the patient sitting in front of them who may be nervous and in need of reassurance. Brushing that patient off by saying. “Oh it’s easy. People have this treatment all the time and it’s no big deal”, is just wrong.
Please, health care providers, see the person who is actually sitting in front of you and not some faceless general public that you have to filter through
I think my dog is an alien
How else to explain the fact that I can brush her for an hour, remove enough hair to stuff a pillow and five minutes later see her visibly shedding more hair on my couch. Maybe there is life on the dog star Sirius and she has come to me from there….
It’s no secret why Alaska Native women are treated so badly
Here’s one of those things you just never really forget. I was enjoying a social evening with friends some years back in Barrow. One of the people sitting around the table was a police officer. He told us a story, a story that obviously disturbed him. I think he hoped someone around the table could explain it so wouldn’t seem so bad.
Here’s the story. A husband and wife were picked up by the police for public intoxication and placed in separate cells for their own protection until they sobered up. This was hardly the first night they’d spent in
I have to stop watching TV while I feed the birds
Not only do I now know the dialog from every episode of Golden Girls by heart but I’ve recently found out that Family Feud is still on the air with like its 800th host. I am still amazed by the families that show up. In my entire large, extended, loud and crazed family, I can think of maybe two people who would willingly go on that show…and you know who you are Marina and Mary.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s stupid?
So I’m watching the 4500th rerun of the Nanny as I feed and clean my birds in the morning and on comes that commercial for Boniva (Boneeva?), a calcium supplement that Sally Fields is flogging. Once I get over the shock of the Flying Nun being old enough to do a commercial for calcium supplements and actually listen to the copy I realize she’s suggesting it’s easier to remember to do something once a month rather than once a day. Huh? Do advertisers really think we’re that stupid? And the pitch she gives is that she has a friend who
I can’t believe it happened again
I can’t believe another year has gone by and I’ve once again been left off People Magazine’s list of 100 most beautiful people. Sure, Brangelina made it again. And that silly George Clooney. And all those other people who are just such yesterday’s news. But me? A beautiful, mature woman who wears her years proudly if only because she can’t afford plastic surgery? Once again, I have inexplicably dropped off the end of the list. Damn!
PS – George, if you like a little salt and pepper in your salad, call me.