Elise Sereni Patkotak

In case you were wondering if Christmas was on time this year, I think the glut of commercials for children’s toys that have suddenly sprung up may be a good indication it can’t be that far away. 

I arrive in Atlantic City today, home of my misspent youth.  It’s too bad that now that Atlantic City has so many more ways to misspend my youth, I have no youth left to misspend.

My sister and I once took my mother with us on a road trip. As we wandered around outside some city in Utah trying to find our hotel, my mother got nervous because we were lost.  My sister’s response was, “How lost can we be? We’re in America.” Half the fun of road trips can be the odd, out of the way places you find when you get lost. But now cars come with GPS onboard and all you have to do is ask the computer to tell you where to go. You’ll never be lost again. Though in not

I bought a doghouse for Blondie who likes to spend her days outside making sure no squirrel or bird tries to take over her yard.  I called on my young friend Paul to assist with it.  He took the doghouse out of its box and laid its pieces on the floor. I lifted the box upright and started reading the instructions on the back.  I turned to tell Paul what step one should be.  He already had three of the four levels attached.  It’s got to just be something in your genes. On the one hand, I was confused by

Blue wandered into the bathroom as I read the morning paper and I noticed something all over her head. It was bird food, a mixture of seeds. birdy cornbread and so many other things. And I realized that she has taken Mr. T’s place at the trough known as the bottom of Abdul’s cage.  She grazes there each day while Abdul showers her with crumbs.  My little circle is truly becoming complete again.

The Democrats sweep the elections and Brittany Spears is getting divorced.  Are these not signs of the Apocalypse?

Go vote today or shut up and don’t complain about anything in public life ever again. If you don’t vote, you lose all right to complain, comment or otherwise have attitude about any elected official or policy they may devise.  And I’m a menopausal woman with attitude so you sure don’t want to question why I get to make that rule.