Elise Sereni Patkotak

Soon after I turned forty, I looked back on my life and decided that there was some things I did very well and some things I didn’t.  I was professionally successful. I had wonderful friends and family. I was a multiple pet owner who loved and indulged her animals in every way possible.  And I was the worse practitioner in the world of the art of dating and relationships.

I realized, as I reviewed the detritus that passed for my romantic life, that I had a problem. Put one thousand wonderful men in a room with one scumbag and I

Do I even really need to explain that title?  Would anyone like to share lots of leftovers that almost look like what I thought I was making? Can company file ciminal charges against you for what you think you served them?

Mr. T 1990 – Oct. 16, 2006

His motto was “You can take my balls but you can’t take my testosterone” and he lived that motto every day of his life.

Now he’s waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge with Lovey and Morris and Adeline and Zia.  Sometimes it feels as though I can’t wait to join them.

In view of my godchild’s pending event, will I become a Great Fairy Godmother (something I’ve always tried to be) or a Fairy Great Godmother?  And will either of those titles offend enough members of the gay community so as to cause them to file a class action suit against me?

You are visited by two lovely young ladies and halfway through the visit you start forgetting you ever changed their diapers and just keep thinking how much fun they are to be with.

OK, if I have this straight, and I’m afraid I do, some congressman running for re-election has decided that since Ted Kennedy was a scum bag when he deserted Mary Jo Kopechne at Chappaquidick, Dennis Hastert should be viewed as ok by us in comparison – even if he did sit on the fact that one of his party’s representatives was trying his best to diddle male congressional pages.  Ah politics.  Nothing like reaching for the gold standard, is there?  Of course, in this case we ended up with the poo poo standard.

Just a quick note for that particular mom who I know is out there wondering how her kids are.  Well, she’s either doing that or she’s sitting at her kitchen table, reveling in the quiet, while sipping her 15th latte of the day and petting her dog.  Anyhow, they are fine. They are delightful. They are two charming young ladies that you should have no fear to present to the world.  And, they are an absolute hoot for wanting to hang around with an old lady and have fun.  Just a fair warning…I may have accidentally slipped and given out

The holidays approach and family sturm und drang kicks up five notches as the all important question “Where will we spend (fill in the holiday)?” gains momentum . And this is yet again why Alaska is so peaceful for me.

I was watching a show on anorexia and bullemia and how being a size o is now the goal for girls and women. And it occurred to me that at least Muslims are honest and open about their feeling for women by making them wear a burqa or whatever that head to toe walking tent is called.They want them to be invisible and dresss them as such.  Here in the West, we claim that is horrible and that we treat our women with respect. I don’t see the respect when we are telling them they have to be a size