Elise Sereni Patkotak

…who feels just terribly sorry for Suri?

Wow. Brad Pitt is getting a lot of votes for the “People who seriously annoy me” hall of fame.  And all those votes come from me so they count double.

On Tuesday morning I got out of bed, put on my slippers (thank god!) and headed out to the kitchen to turn the coffee on.  At my bedroonm doorway, I stepped into something soft, squishy and smelly. My dog had left me a gift. After depositing it, he then went to sleep downstairs since the smell apparently bothered him. I haven’t written about this till today because it has taken this long for my eyeballs to not bleed every time I think about it.

Oh yeah…Happy anniversary, Sandra and Harris.  May no dogs ever poop in your bedroom doorway.

There seems to be a mind set among people in the lower 48, especially those people who show up on your front doorstep in the summer, that every Alaskan is a tried and true outdoor person with intimate knowledge of wildlife, firearms, bear avoidance and – perhaps more than all else – fishing in Alaska waters.

Let me set their minds straight once and for all.

I am an outdoor person only if your idea of the outdoors is the tundra at 40 below in the winter.  My idea of firearms is confined to my attempt to hide their various

Baby Suri is dangerously close to winning the most annoying person in my life this year award and she can’t even poop in a toilet yet. 

Happened to be in a bar with live music last night.  I’d either forgotten how loud that can be or it just sounds louder because I’m so old. Either way, I found myself wishing they would put the table out in the parking lot for me so I could enjoy the music without feeling as though my eardrums were going to start bleeding.

If something is for sale for 70% off, that means it was either way too overpriced to begin with or you are buying something that will cause your sister to roll her eyes in a movement very reminiscent of how your mother looked when you shopped with her.

First the FBI is brought in to tell the world what every Alaskan already knew about the cozy relationship between government and the oil business in this state. Now George Bush feels compelled to tell us there are secret prisons around the world run by our CIA.  May I just say one more time this week, DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would rather vote for someone I respect but disagree with than vote for a scumbag with whom I agree.

Hillary Clinton is now officially on the list of people and things that annoy the hell out of me. Thank you all for your votes for her.