I get out of bed to pee and by the time I get back in… all of thirty seconds later… all three dogs have shifted on the bed so it is damn near impossible for me to get in under the covers and find room for my feet. And they seem to gain about 100 lbs. when doing this because the strength needed to toss them off my spot at 3 AM is more than I can muster. So I just wiggle around them and sleep sideways on the bed with half my body covered by the blanket and the Continue reading →
Month: February 2017
Maybe I’m just not meant to mingle with other humans
It occurs to me that I never get sick from my dogs or birds. Only from contact with other humans. Could this be the goddess sending me a message? If so, I am more than happy to retreat to my home and hide from humanity in general… especially for the next four years. Problem is, I’m not sure there would be a world to come back out to in four years. Continue reading →
Does it ever happen?
How old do you have to be before you actually always remember to take the kleenix out of your pocket BEFORE you wash your pants? Continue reading →
I lied
I did come back from Vegas with something… the worse cold of the decade so far in my life. I truly do apologize to that poor man and his daughter who sat next to me on the plane from Seattle to Anchorage. I have never sneezed so much in my life. I’m surprised he and his daughter didn’t try to climb out onto the wing to avoid me. Continue reading →
Once, just once
Just once I want to come back from Vegas with more than dust in my pockets… just once. Apparently this won’t be the time. Continue reading →
We all know how she got the job
Let me state at the outset that I am friends with one of Lisa Murkowski’s siblings. But our friendship is based much more on a shared love of food than any political discourse. So when I write about Lisa, I’m writing from the perspective of someone who knows her only as a public figure.
Having said that let me say this. Would all Alaskans who are still fixated on how she got her job please get a life. I’m sure I’m not the only Alaskan who is sick and tired of the rant about how she’s only our senator because Continue reading →
Tomorrow
Today was just a test run to see which penny slots like me. Turns out none of them. But tomorrow… ah, tomorrow… another day to conquer those slots. Bring it on, you devil machines! Continue reading →
Did you know?
That big yellow ball in the sky that we see occasionally even in Anchorage actually gives out heat in some parts of the world. Who knew? Most Alaskans won’t believe you if you tell them anyway. Continue reading →
Girls’ week in Vegas
As I do every year, I am heading to Vegas to make my fortune… and/or lose all the money I bring with me at the penny slot machines. Either way, sun, no snow and good friends to laugh with. It doesn’t get much better. OK, yes, if I win big it would make the week a lot more fun. But either way, did I mention no snow? Continue reading →
It would help if he wasn’t lying
Trump’s supporters say they like him because he tells it like it is and damn the consequences. This would be a lot more credible if ANYTHING coming out of Orangeman’s mouth had even the tiniest relationship to the truth. Alas, it never does. Continue reading →