I have to say that I was never attracted to the evangelical arm of Christianity until Melted Orange Goo became their hero. Based on their continued support of him and his actions, I have to say it looks like evangelicals must be having a much better time than their public persona would imply.
So I want in on the fun. I want to be able to lie, cheat, steal, mock the disabled, taunt the dying, destroy families, insult half the human race by grabbing their private parts, and generally not give a damn what it says in the Bible because when I’m done doing all those things, I just have to throw a prayer breakfast and everything is forgiven. A clean slate, if you will. Which means I can go out and do it all over again.
Wow. What a great life. Why were those evangelicals keeping this a secret? Do they not want everyone to find out that they are the religion that believes in breaking the Ten Commandments, not following them. They are the religion that thinks grabbing women by their private parts is but the privilege given by their version of a god to all white men. They are the religion that believes that you can go out and lie, cheat and steal and that’s fine so long as you tithe your church so your pastor can live in luxury. They are the religion that sincerely would like to see all women go back to the kitchen where they belong and take off those damn shoes.
I don’t know where their next orgy is being held but I wish they would let us know the location so we can all participate… no, wait. On second thought, having seen what most of those people look like I now understand why they support an illiterate idiot and I have no desire to ever see any of them naked. I rather just sleep with my dogs. They have better morals and smell.