Author: admin

You know you’re dreading the rapidly approaching political season when contemplating America’s increasing girth is preferable to dwelling on the upcoming campaigns and those fun polls that ask if you would still vote for Candidate A if you knew he was a cannibal… not that there is any evidence he or she is, but just asking.

It seems that after many years of searching for the one small area in the back of the store near the restroom where plus size clothes were usually displayed, these clothes may soon be going mainstream.

Growing up, my clothes came from a store

Remember when we didn’t share everything with everybody. When you mother taught you that some things were simply no one’s business outside the family. When your sex life, your food life, your social life and your sleeping partners were not considered standard fare for online conversations with the immediate world.

Remember when we didn’t know what the shaved vaginas of drunken movie starlets without underwear looked like. Remember when we didn’t need to know our favorite star’s kinky sexual preferences. Remember when you didn’t need to shave your private parts to wear a bathing suit. Remember when your private parts

There is an ad running on about every other Internet page I go to in which a blue box flashes obnoxiously for so long as you are on the page and the words, You Are A Winner” also flash with enough rapidity to cause me to worry I will have a seizure from it.

So just in case anyone out there cares, you should know that the minutes that ad appears I dump the page and go anywhere else I can that does NOT have that obnoxious ad running.

Actually, I’m assuming it would be a tree were it not for the thorough trimming it gets each year from the moose who camp on my lawn all winter. But despite that, it has apparently put out a purple flower. A birch flower. I thought something had gotten into the middle of the bush and started growing but my savvy neighbor Harry brought me a picture from the Internet showing a birch flower.

So the way it goes in my yard, if I pay any attention at all to you, you wither and die or grow long and scraggly. But

With each price increase for checking luggage, people work even harder to shove two weeks worth of necessities into two carry on bags, only one of which can even be laughingly referred to as a purse or similar personal item. By the time some of these people load themselves on the plane, there is more weight in the overhead compartments than in the seats below them.

So here’s my suggestion. We already have lost all civility, comfort and compassion that airlines and their in-flight personnel may ever have been inclined to show. That we are nothing more than cattle to

I don’t care if Al Gore is having an affair. I don’t care if Bristol and Levi ever get together again. I don’t care who has or doesn’t have Tiger Woods’ son. I don’t care who Bill Clinton is doing this week in his mile high club. I don’t care if Rush Limbaugh married some woman twenty years his junior. I don’t care!  I actually have my own life. I find it much more interesting than theirs.  Dear god… whatever happened to the concept of privacy?

Out of the clear blue, my African Gray parrot Abdul has started yelling, “Woodie, woodie, woodie, wooooo!” with great emphasis on the last woo. I have no idea where he ever heard anything like that or why it is suddenly his favorite phrase. But instead of being greeted in the morning with “Good morning. I love you. Give me a kiss”… which used to be his regular morning routine… I am greeted with a phrase that makes me look around for a dozen clowns in a tiny car driving towards my coffee pot.

Life is never dull with birds around.

Back in the day, a young man who would one day be president wrote… or had ghost written, depending on whom you believe… a book entitled “Profiles in Courage”. JFK’s book detailed decisions made by brave men who knew they were putting their political future on the line for a principle in which they believed. 

If that book were written about Alaskan politicians today, I don’t know if we’d find enough material to even call it “Profile in Courage”.

Political opportunism and pandering has reached such an unprecedented depth in our public life that we don’t even blink when our

Is it too soon to admit I miss the cold weather and am absolutely through with bugs and mosquitoes for the year? All I want to do is slip under a blanket and cover my head until the fall when the leaves turn, the mosquitoes go away and I no longer have to worry about finding a bug crawling in my shower in the morning.