The end of a year that included some of the stupidest and most embarrassing moments in this nation’s political history… moments that belonged to no one particular political party but to all equally. In a year that included LIndsay Lohan continuing to make headlines for being a drunken loser, our politicians still took the cake. Congratulations, guys and gals. You may not have brought sanity to government but you sure brought gales of laughter into our homes.
Why I’m grateful
I’m grateful that this week between Christmas and New Year’s is a time of blessed silence from the bleating and blathering of the political candidates for office. My sympathies to the people of Iowa who do not have this gift.
The 2011 Hall of Infamy
And so we come to that special time of the year when we say goodbye to the old and welcome in the new. Before we do, let me announce the nominees for my 2011 Hall of Infamy. Who will get to join such permanent inductees as Tom Cruise and that thing on Donald Trump’s head?
Let’s start with a nod to those pregnant celebrities who show up for special events wearing outfits stretched so tightly across their bellies that you could actually see the fetus trying to tap out “Help me!” in Morse code on mom’s stomach. If I can
Finally it makes sense to me
I’ve always wondered why the Republican right wing was so dead set against gay marriage, calling it a threat to the American family. Now I think I’ve figured it out. The problem is that the seeming majority of Republican right wing Christian men are closeted gays. If gay marriage were legal, it would threaten their current heterosexual marriages. Ergo, gay marriage threatens the American family. It all makes so much more sense now.
Due to a slight miscalculation
I found myself in Fred Meyers on the day before Christmas Eve. I thought they were going to have to call an ambulance to remove the hysterically paralyzed woman from the olive aisle. I should never be around that many people at once. The world is definitely overpopulated.
Here’s what life is really about
Paula and Judy have been friends since they sat in Sr. Angelina’s kindergarten class together. How much more can you want in life than a friend who’s known you that long and still thinks you’re great?
Merry Christmas
Joe takes a cue from Sequel
All signs indicate this little boy will get everything he wants on Christmas Day.
Sequel and Santa
Sequel decided the safest place to be at Christmas to make sure his gift got delivered was actually IN Santa’s lap.
The sounds of silence
The real war being fought in America today is against peace and quiet. It’s a war being won by the forces of noise and distraction. Contemplation and quiet come in a distant second to angry bird apps and texts from friends about how wrinkly their body got in the shower this morning – something made no more attractive than it might otherwise be by the fact that the tweeter is limited to a 240 character description. It’s amazing how many queasy moments can be squeezed into that few characters.
Given as I am possibly the last person left on earth