Elise Sereni Patkotak

Since voting has now become a somewhat useless exercise given that corporations will be able to easily buy whatever politicians they choose, instead of bothering with election day, the corporations will unveil our new leaders in spiffy Superbowl ads. That will get the word out to more Americans than any other method and they can learn something while eating nachos and watching sports. It’s a win-win for everyone. Thanks Supremes!

It’s one thing to have left overs when you eat out from home. You can always get the remainder to go and have it for lunch the next day. But what do you do when on vacation and those big servings come at you that you can’t possibly finish? My friends and I found the answer while in Vegas. We asked for the leftovers to go and requested some plastic utensils so we could eat it in our rooms later. Then we went outside and handed the food to the first homeless person we saw. Food not wasted. Homeless person

No need to go vote. Thanks to the Supremes, we just have to check in with our multinational corporations and they’ll tell us who will be our elected officials. Thanks guys. I needed those fifteen extra minutes freed up to beat my head against the wall to ease the pain of watching American democracy die.

There’s been an uptick in spam mail. This seems to happen periodically. I open my e-mail thinking 21 people have contacted me only to find that 17 of them want to offer me A. money for which I only have to send them some first B. drugs cheaper than I can buy on the street C. penis pills.  Really? This is what our great civilization has come to? What a disappointment.

Boy reality sucks after the plasticity of Vegas. But… given that I don’t have enough money left to buy myself a latte, I guess I’d better get back to churning out the words on my computer. God I wish I’d been smart enough to find a really rich man to provide for all my wants and needs. Instead, I have ten animals hoping I can still buy their kibble. I did NOT intend life to turn out this way. I was going to be young and beautiful and rich and famous… all before I was 30 so I could retire

No column from the paper this week on the blog. I was too busy losing my shirt at the penny slots. Now heading back to Anchorage, poorer and no wiser. I’ll come back next year and do the exact same thing.

I’m in Vegas losing a year’s worth of savings and having a great time. How did Vegas ever survive financially before Janis, Kate and I started coming every year for a girls’ week where we promise to lose every cent we bring with us on the penny slots?