Elise Sereni Patkotak

Why are Alaskans ever surprised when Dandy Don does something like go on safari instead of attend a hearing on a bill he cosponsored? Have they not been paying attention for the last 40 years? Don Young views his seat in Congress as his pension for which he need do no work except for occasionally showing up in Alaska every two years to win re-election. What is perhaps most pathetic is that the Democratic Party in Alaska cannot find a credible candidate to beat him. I mean, he hands them their campaign attacks on a silver platter and they still

Being a gay Boy Scout is akin to be a female Catholic. You are allowed to serve in the organization but will never be admitted to the leadership because, let’s face it, you are ultimately a secondary human being.

We all live in places where natural disasters can happen, whether tornadoes, or hurricanes or earthquakes or volcanoes erupting. And every day that we wake up and are able to go about our daily lives with normalcy, knowing the people and pets we love are safe and our homes are snug and cozy and waiting for us to get off work, we should remember to be very, very grateful. It can all go away so quickly.

There are little green things showing their heads above the ground in my yard. Quiet. It doesn’t take much to scare them away. Can’t wait to see what they are… given my ability in my yard, I’m going to guess either dandelions or whatever grows from the seeds my birds scatter in the house, my dogs eat because… well, because… and then poop out in the yard. This is always an exciting spring mystery.

I couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear when I read that the judge ordered Joe Miller to pay Alaska Dispatch over $85,000 in legal fees for his sleazy (and does the man know any other way, really?) attempts to use the law to duck the law. He’s the type of lawyer that Charles Dickens skewered so well over 150 years ago in Bleak House with the case titled Jarndyce v Jarndyce. In fact, Joe would have fit right in with the sleaze that Dickens described in that lawsuit. Yay for Alaska Dispatch! Yay for John McKay! And yay for

We can send men to the moon. We can send spaceships to the outer limits of our galaxy. But the best we can come up with for attaching dog tags to dog collars are those damned tight little curled metal pieces that defy fingers, knives and pliers to open and twist the tag on. I’ve just spent the better part of Sunday afternoon affixing new dog tags to my dogs’ collars and my fingers are bleeding, my normally only slightly rancid personality is now totally gone to hell and I may need to drink heavily to get over the ordeal.

In all my life, I have never seen two dogs more reluctant to go out and “do their thing” as Bubba and Carm on Friday when that crappy mixture of rain and snow fell. I think they would have held it for twenty four hours if needed… or at least until I went to bed and couldn’t see them peeing on my carpet.

I didn’t think it was possible to feel this miserable for this long. I guess this is what I should expect when exposed to sunshine, humidity and heat. Alaskans just do not do well under those circumstances. I have gone from a scratchy throat to a stuffy nose to a hacking cough and I now feel as though someone screwed my ears on too tight.

Yep… sunshine will kill you if you aren’t careful.