Elise Sereni Patkotak

No, this isn’t about Orange Peel. It’s the holidays. We should put him in a box and not unwrap him until after the new year so we can all concentrate on what’s really important… straws.

I was at Olive Garden last week – we will pause now to allow my Italian family to collectively gasp in horror – and when the server brought me my diet Coke, a straw was already in it with the paper ripped off.

I know we live in Alaska and sometimes it still takes awhile for news to reach some people but we’re talking about Continue reading →

OK, I really celebrated. I stayed baked from the moment the first article of impeachment passed until I fell asleep smiling last night.

But here’s the thing. By the end of the evening what I was really smiling about was Nancy Pelosi’s refusal to send the Articles to the Senate until the Senate could basically assure a fair trial. Given that McConnell already announced Orange Peel’s innocence, you can see where impartiality would be a real issue.

Given that the Constitution provides no guidance on how long the House can keep the Articles until they are passed on to the Continue reading →

I look out the window and see roads I am mostly comfortable driving on. While some ice is still a problem at intersections, that’s about it.

I approached the coming of winter in Alaska as I have done every year recently. Before the snow fell, I stocked up for winter knowing there would be many days when I couldn’t get out because of ice or snow. Except the ice and snow didn’t happen except for a very brief moment early on. Now my yard looks as it usually does in early spring as the snow melts and the ugly browness Continue reading →

First let me apologize for being away from the blog again for a few days. But, as always, technology defeated me and I had to go to the wonderful Sonya Senkowsky of Alaska Writers for help. It took her about ten seconds to do what I had not been able to do in two days.

But today let’s talk about Governor Mike Dunleavy, Alaska’s own Trump kiss ass. He seems to be spending his time as governor sucking up to every national media outlet that speaks his language… hint, hint – Fox News. He claims he can’t get fair coverage Continue reading →

As I sit here looking out the window at a December day in Anchorage with no snow visible, temps way higher than they should be, rain in the forecast and Stellar jays still coming to my feeder, I’ve got to figure that this kid is definitely on to something.

Here’s the problem. A bunch of old white men – also known at the GOP – has decided that she is wrong and that the dramatic global climate change that is happening right in front of our faces is, in fact, nothing more than a passing moment in history. Needless to Continue reading →

For those of us of a certain age, the term “body count” immediately brings to mind the headlines that ran in newspapers all over the country about the war in Vietnam.

You see, kids, back in the long ago past, we had a war that, like the war in Afghanistan, seemed to go on forever. But we were assured by our military leaders on a daily basis that we were obviously winning because – well, look at the body count.

The body count was released every day based on the number of enemies we had killed that day. I always Continue reading →

If you want to understand how crazed the nuns made us when teaching English in grade school, here’s a prime example. I edit my emails. I write them. I read them at least twice. I then edit them, move sentences around, etc.

So there you go. I am an email editor. And it’s all the fault of Sister Beatrice. Ah, the long reach of first grade teachers.

And did I mention she pulled a piece of candy out of her voluminous habit and gave it to the first child to figure out a reading word. I won a lot of Continue reading →

A banana taped to a wall with duct tape is selling for six figures in Florida – yes, of course it’s Florida!

The artist taped it to the wall and sold it for more money than I’ll probably see in my lifetime. Even better, after the first few days you have to supply your own banana as the one you were sold rots on your wall. And you have to supply your own tape to tape the new banana up on the wall.

Now at this point, any sane person is asking how this is still the artist’s work if Continue reading →

The majority of 9/11 terrorists were Saudis. The shooter in Pensacola was a Saudi. His Saudi friends watched and filmed the incident.

Yet we invaded Iraq, destroyed Afghanistan and betrayed the Kurds while continuing to arm the Saudi kingdom and sending our troops to help protect their oil fields.

Hmmm…. I wonder what they might have that we think is so important to protect that we allow them to continue to send their citizens here to murder us while we send our soldiers there to protect them? Continue reading →

I admit it. I am totally addicted to the best and worst dressed lists that are posted after every event in which pretty people are dressed by a designer who wants their product seen on someone pretty and impossibly skinny.

Nowadays, people who weigh more than 80 pounds are allowed to be dressed in nice attired on the red carpet. In Hollywood that’s considered progress – fat people (defined as anyone over a size 5) are also allowed to consider themselves attractive.

But I don’t voraciously devour these lists because of any political content. No, I do it because I Continue reading →