Ah, Herman… farewell… we hardly knew you before you disappeared from our radar… but we certainly knew enough to know we didn’t want to hear anymore. You are a disgrace to pizza makers everywhere.
Nose spraying your dog
None of the suggestions worked for making this simple. I end up holding her head in a perverted wrestling lock while she fights every moment of the application of a spritz of nose spray into each nostril. Now when I approach Blondie, I have to do it with my hands open and out in front of me so she can see that there is no dreaded spray bottle in them. Otherwise, she runs like the demons of hell are chasing her and doesn’t stop until she has scrunched herself into her little doggie cave at the end of my closet
A question
Where do all the chia things go between Christmas seasons?
How did this happen to me
I got my medicare card in the mail last week. I’m officially old. I demand to know how and when this happened to me and why no one warned me it was coming.
Embarrassing moments of my life for which I was not responsible
When I was at Chestnut Hill College for Female Catholic Virgins (helluva entrance exam!) in the mid 1960s, the world around me was exploding with civil rights marches, anti-war protests (Hey, hey, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?….. they simply don’t make chants like that anymore) and women’s battle for equality. What were they doing at Chestnut Hill College for Female Catholic Virgins (helluva entrance exam!)? The students marched in orderly fashion around the main entrance to the dining room to protest the removal of mandarin oranges from the fruit salad.
You can’t make stuff like that up.
Why I stay in Alaska despite it all
I’m sitting at my desk writing a court report. It’s a report about a badly damaged family and, quite frankly, there is nothing nice about doing a report like this. I sit alone in my office wondering how people can do such things to each other.
Then I see movement out of the corner of my eye. Strolling past my window are a momma and child… only this is a momma moose and her calf. The slowly stroll the length of my fence, occasionally nibbling on some tree branches. They are in no hurry. They are still fat and with
America is not a theocracy
Let’s see if I have this straight. President Obama offers his Thanksgiving address and in it neglects to thank god. This leads to a cacophony of screeches from right wing conservative pundits who are apparently pretty sure that this omission means that Obama plans to lead us down a godless path to defeat, destruction and total world domination by (pick one) Muslims or communists. Wow.
My first thought was to invite these pundits to move to Iran or some other theocracy where god is always mentioned as the only justification needed for any and all decrees, from which movies can
The sneezing has stopped
It took massive quantities of drugs, more patience than I ever thought I possessed and a dog who refused to be anything but good natured no matter how little sleep she got or how much we poked and prodded her. But it is now official. Blondie no longer spends 23 out of 24 hours every day sneezing and snorting. Praise the lord!
This year, you absolutely have to WANT to be here
Between the amount of snow that’s already fallen and the temperatures barely breaking into the double digits so early in the season, this is the year you had better really want to be in Alaska if you’re here. Because if you’re only here to follow a spouse or a job, you are one unhappy camper right now. In fact, I’d be willing to be that the grizzly still wandering Hillside and haunting the ski trails there simply wants to find a way to a nicer climate rather than try to hibernate in this weather.
Is it wrong
Is it wrong that I still feel as though half a turkey is stuck in my esophagus?