Elise Sereni Patkotak

Anchorage is having one butt ugly fall/winter. Snow. Rain. Mud. Ice.  Nothing at all attractive about it. We should be looking out our windows and seeing snow frozen solid to the ground. No ice. Certainly no rain or mud. That’s for breakup. Just beautiful white snow heralding the start of the holidays. As Alaskans, we don’t officially get tired of snow until sometime in February.

But this year we have no chance to get tired of the snow based on the few pathetic patches left on my lawn. I get up in the morning and look out on a day Continue reading →

OK, Alaskans. You heard it from the mouth of the head of the party you support. The way to prevent forest fires is to clean the forest and rake those leaves. So everyone grab a rake and head to the Tongass. Is that too much forest for you? How about Chugach State Park? No? Denali?

C’mon, Alaskans. It’s like you don’t even want to prevent forest fires… Continue reading →

Given how many of us come here from there, friends quickly become the family we left behind when we moved to Alaska. This results in the kind of friendships you rarely find anywhere else. The kind of friends who will always surround you and buffer you when needed. The kind of friends who will laugh at you when you are being ridiculous, laugh with you when your funny bone gets tickled and laugh at anyone who though they could get through them to hurt you. Yep, Alaska friends come in all shapes and sizes but the bottom line remains the Continue reading →

If it were not so tragic and troubling, I’d laugh at all the information coming to light about POS’ pick for acting Attorney General of these United (almost) States. If you want to catch up on most of them in a fun way, check out Colbert’s monologue last night.

For sheer embarrassment on a global level, nothing beats having an acting attorney general who once shilled for a company that promised time travel, promoted the reality of Sasquatch and actually sold the concept of a deep toilet for men whose penises were 7 to 12 inches long. Quite frankly, I Continue reading →

The POS currently sullying the White House is in a bad mood because of the recent loss of the House and the general mockery of his inability to handle rain or an umbrella. Under most circumstances, this would be funny. I mean, the guy’s a true asshole and watching him squirm as the world notices should be amusing. But it isn’t because this asshole has access to nuclear weapons.

You know who else has access to nuclear weapons? Kim Jong Un. Yep, that great nuclear deal POS put together turns out to have been made of gossamer. Pretty, see through Continue reading →

It’s both snowing and raining out. Lots more rain predicted. Not the way it’s supposed to be in November in Anchorage. I’m sitting here in my bathrobe unable to find any reason to get dressed. The roads are icy. The weather is not set to improve. I don’t need to go out to buy anything. So maybe this will be a perfect Sunday – me in my bathrobe, the Sunday paper, two dogs to snuggle with and four birds to talk to if I get lonely.

It’s a good life.

Now if we could only figure a way to make Continue reading →

Let’s see what we should focus on today. The POS currently sullying the White House is blaming bad management on California’s part for the disastrous fires there. Aside from the fact that his warm and fuzzy thoughts to survivors seem to be missing from this statement, there is a lot of ignorance showing since he clearly doesn’t know it’s federal management on most of those lands.

Or should we focus on the fact that POS called off a visit to honor WW I fallen heroes because it was raining out. I guess it’s true. Warlocks as well as witches melt Continue reading →

All this bull crap about working together suddenly being important for the nation has me wanting to barf. Why? Because you are asking decent Americans who actually have morals and integrity to work with an administration that wants to undo the 14th Amendment with a pen stroke, that is destroying the 1st Amendment with its actions and that is sending armed soldiers to meet refugees fleeing with not much more than the clothes on their backs.

Exactly what part of that am I supposed to work together with the other side to reach a compromise?

We have been told by Continue reading →

So are we safer yet? Have all the guns and assault rifles made us safer yet? Because that’s what gun advocates and the NRA has been telling us for years. Put enough guns in enough hands and no one will dare shoot and, if they do, they will be killed by everyone shooting back. School, church, outdoor concert – doesn’t matter where. Just arm everyone to the nth degree and then sit back and watch the safety happen…

Funny thing is, in those countries with strict gun control laws, mass shootings hardly ever happen. Countries like England and Sweden, democracies, Continue reading →

And so with the end of day today, we say goodbye to political ads until at least January when the first ads for the 2020 campaign show up on our TVs and radios. A full two months of peace and quiet broken only by the incessant noise that is called Christmas music. This music starts sometime in October, gets a full head of steam by mid-November and by Christmas, Grandma got run over by at least a 1000 reindeer and the Baby Jesus had a million days of Christmas sung to him. And I swear to god, I just want Continue reading →