I think any parents who put out a baby with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder should have their reproductive organs removed by court order.
Wet, dry, damp – the Bush dilemma
Are you like me? Do you feel that trying to follow the booze wars in Bush Alaska is like trying to watch Australian Rules football – it looks like something you should be able to understand; yet you can’t quite figure out what the heck is happening. And just in case you weren’t confused before, you have the spectacle in Bethel of the same group who pushed a vote for going wet now opposing anyone actually getting a liquor license.
Villages can vote to have their communities exist in one of three states: Wet, which means anything goes from liquor
Ah, old age
I don’t know about you, but I have a routine at bedtime. I put my glass of water next to my bed. I check to make sure all the doors are locked. I put the dogs out for one last time. I make sure the lights are out and the stove is cold. I make sure the thermostat is turned down to 65… though that’s really unnecessary unless I have company because otherwise it’s always at 65 all winter. Then I climb in bed and read until forced to go to sleep because of the late hour and how unlikely
Homeless camps
(This piece also appears in Dispatch Alaska)
There seems to be a generally held belief that some of those who choose to live “homeless” are deliberately living off the grid because they don’t want the strictures of society impinging on their right to live however they want, whenever they want. Kind of an urban wilderness man idea.
I find that concept belied by a recent news story. According to newspaper and police reports, a man and woman were arguing. When they wouldn’t quiet down, another homeless man went into their tent and beat the man up. The woman left. Then
Anchorites are easily pleased
Every once in a while before the snow falls and between the constant rain storms, Anchorage gets some beautiful fall days… leaves gorgeous, sun shinning, cold enough to not have bugs but warm enough to not have ice… and we are so pathetically grateful. I walked the dogs last week on a couple of those days and kept passing other people who had completely idiotic grins on their faces who kept saying to me in voices of awed wonder, “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” I think they had to keep saying it out loud because otherwise they wouldn’t be
Milk
As I sit here in agony I must confess I can no longer absorb fresh milk or spoon sized Shredded Wheat. It’s one or the other.
As I sit quietly sobbing
I find myself wondering how I can have a checking account less than a year old on which all of ten checks have been written and yet I am still $300 out of sync with what the bank says the total is. And even after trying my best to add and subtract, divide and multiply, parse and diagram, I still can’t figure it out. So I accept the bank’s total as true and also accept that I am a math idiot.
As we age, we learn to accept these limitations more gracefully so I will now stop sobbing and go
Letterman performs his own stupid human trick
I became a Letterman fan while living in Barrow back in the day when our network programming came out of Chicago. That meant what was on a 1 AM Chicago time was on at 10 PM in Barrow. Letterman was my primetime viewing.
I remember when Letterman featured the woman who kept the unfortunate diary entries detailing their affair in many on air bits. I find it difficult to believe that anyone wasn’t aware that something was happening given the obvious looks that passed between them. Also, it was painfully clear she hadn’t been chosen because of her sparkling personality.