Everyone who votes must wear a blue armband. Everyone who is of age to vote and didn’t must wear a red armband. If a red armband is ever heard complaining about politics or government or taxes, the blue armbands may pull out foam bats and beat the red armbands till they shut up. Just an idea.
A newly designated day
If Thanksgiving is turkey day, today is officially the day when you can admit that you don’t want to see or taste another piece of turkey for at least a year…unless, of course, someone makes you a great sandwich with turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce on crunchy bread with mayo and lettuce and the tiniest smattering of roasted pine nuts. Yum. Yum.
A casino rule of thumb
Never get between any seemingly kind and gentle old man or lady and their penny slot machine, even if they are using four machines at once and can barely reach them all. It is not a wise move.
OK, maybe I was wrong
I might have had the calories don’t count on Thanksgiving Day thing that I posted yesterday wrong. Calories may actually count that are taken in at the holiday table. Sometimes god just isn’t fair.
It’s time to unzip those pants
Enjoy the one day of the year when you can eat as much as you want and none of the calories count. No, really. Trust me on this.
Thanksgiving thanks
It being Thanksgiving, I think it is appropriate to give thanks. Since I use New Year’s as a time to count the people and things that most annoyed me throughout the past year, this is the best time to list the things for which I am most grateful.
Let me start by saying that although I may not agree with Sarah Palin on many issues, I am prouder than punch that Alaska not only has its first female governor, but has one who has shown she actually has a working moral compass.
Back in prehistory when I was young and
Atlantic City
It’s still strange to come back here and see the casinos, even after all these years. In my childhood Atlantic City was an aging resort with the kind of faded glamour you think of when you watch the movie Sunset Blvd. I know it’s better this way for all the workers, but I miss the Steel Pier and the Million Dollar Pier and the Italian Village at the back of the MIllion Dollar Pier where you could get the best Italian lemon ice in the world.
Even as you read this
I will be in Washington DC jamming in as much time at the various Smithsonian buildings as humanly possible. And no, I will not do anything as childish as going to the White House, sticking my tongue out and saying “Nyaaaa! Nyaaa!”. I’ll think it, but in these days of Homeland Security, I won’t do it.
The holiday approaches, the family gathers
Let the games begin!
It occurs to me
It occurs to me that men once wore the high heeled shoes. But they wised up quickly. Could that be why they still dominate the world? Or is it that they don’t have to struggle with panyhose five days a week?