Dinner with Sarah

$63,000 and some change. That’s apparently the going rate for dinner with our lovely gal, temporary Sal. Wow!

I found myself wondering whom I would pay $63,000 to have dinner with and realized that the list was extremely limited even if, in my daydream, I allowed myself to have millions and millions in disposable income. I found myself thinking that maybe if Todd served dinner in little tighty-whiteys I might consider putting out maybe $5000 just because he’s kind of hot in a very Alaskan dorky way.  But $63,000 – even if Sarah was serving it in her tighty-whiteys it wouldn’t be worth it.

I think my problem is that I’m Italian and food occupies a very specific place in my life. And in that specific place, $63,000 spent on the food and wine would be acceptable. $63,00 spent on anything else at a meal would cause great consternation and wonderment in my family.  In fact, now that I think about it, does Sarah even drink wine? OMG, an entire meal with her and you wouldn’t even be able to get a buzz on to make the time go by. How horrible would that be?

Given that Sarah rarely reads anything, doesn’t seem all that interested in current events in Alaska or the world at large and gives out sound bites that are vapid unto death by ennui, one has to wonder what the conversation at dinner will be like. How many different ways can she find to say “death squads” or “right to life” or “ gay marriages? Not on my watch”. Of course, I realize she has had some op ed pieces recently appear in the Wall Street Journal but I think she wrote them as much as Levi writes on anything but walls with a spray can.

So whom would I pay money to have dinner with?  Jay Hammond and Charles Dickens come to mind first, rapidly followed by Hunter S Thompson, Jane Austin and St. Francis of Assisi. Until such time as Sarah actually completes an entire term as our governor, or writes a series of amazing, intelligent books filled with unforgettable characters or gets the small animals of the forest to fall at her feet for reasons other than the fact that she shot them, I’ll keep my money in my pocket and dine with my dogs.  They tell some of the funniest stories of what they smelled in yard yesterday…