The feds want to send us $600 each. The state wants to send us an extra $1000 on top of the $1600 PFD check we’ve already received. It’s an Alaskan’s wet dream come true. Free money raining out of the sky from the government. And all we have to do to earn it is just exist. It’s what the spirit of Alaska is all about, isn’t it?
Here’s how you know you are really, really old
Here’s how you know you are really, really old and it’s taking way too much medication to keep you alive. You go to your local pharmacy and the entire staff behind the counter calls out hi to you by name and has your latest drugs waiting by the time it’s your turn. Once I was known by name at the local hot spots. Now, the local pharmacy. Will aging leave me no dignity?
It figures
I give my birds the best food possible. I cut up fresh vegetables for them every day. I never leave them without the TV turned on to their favorite cartoon or music channel. Their cages get cleaned three times a week and the paper changed more often. I spend time with each of them to make sure they never feel unloved.
So why is it that I will be taking my African Grey Abdul to his annual checkup without a feather on his chest. and few left in his tail, looking like a pathetic, abused and ignored plucked duck? Even
No matter how hard I try
I really do believe that in this world we need to try and understand all perspectives so that we can live peacefully. And so I try to understand Islam. And then I hear a radio interview with a guy who says a family refused to let their daughter marry the man she loved because he only rented a house so he wasn’t good enough for her. Then, giggling, the guy went on to say that also the potential groom was too tall for the girl so their body parts wouldn’t meet properly. And I thought to myself, really? And that’s
The eagles have landed
America’s economic engine seems to run on marketers selling us stuff we don’t need based on advertising that convinces us we can’t live without it. But if I sometimes despair over the materialistic world that has swallowed America whole, a week spent in the company of volunteers who willingly held smelly slimed eagles that were very unhappy about getting a bath cures me of that despair. Because while marketing may drive our economic engine, its the volunteers in our communities that drive our hearts and souls.
Just about everyone by now knows the story of the eagles that thought there
Well, this is just plain embarrassing
I’m sitting in my office working away diligently on some project when I hear a strange sound from the other room. It sounds like a dog in distress. Not yelping distress. But bouncing around distress. I get up and go out in time to see my Blondie with her head caught in the space between the grate at the bottom of the bird cage and the tray below it where the droppings are. She was trying to squeeze in to get some chicken that had fallen from the bird’s breakfast and gotten her head caught and was now struggling through
When people ask me why
When people ask me why I don’t date, I tell them the answer is simple. If I’m attracted to someone, it is a given that they will have no job, no money, a jail or psych hospital history or be about to be admitted to one or the other of those fine institutions. I have uncanny radar for the type. Which is why i decided a long time ago to adopt birds and dogs instead
AAAAAAARRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s my response to the three hour dental appointment I have today. Really, the government simply has to legitimize some happy drugs that are given automatically if you have to spend more than 15 minutes in a dental chair in any given year.
Happy birthday, Louie and Ahpun
Went to the zoo yesterday to watch the polar bears Louie and Ahpun celebrate their birthdays. Tagged along with a friend and her grandchildren. When you don’t have your own, borrowing other people’s grandchildren is the next best thing. I’m not sure who was more fascinated…me or them. But I guess I should apologize now to all the little kids I elbowed out of the way in order to get a better view of the bears. Hey – if you don’t want your kids poked and pushed, don’t bring them to the bears’ birthday party. I mean, it’s not like
Losing a file
I somehow put a file away on my computer and now I can’t remember where I put it. So I will spend the weekend searching my hard drive using every word I can think of that might have possibly been in the title of the file. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I can’t remember what I titled the file? God, old age is so much fun.