Elise Sereni Patkotak

See How Your Work

Compares With the Best!

Have you done something at work this past year that you’re proud of?  Ever wonder how it would stack up against the best in Alaska and in the nation?  Then the Alaska Professional Communicators’ 2008 contest is for you.

Alaska Professional Communicators, formerly Alaska Press Women, is made up of both women and men in journalism, writing, broadcasting, public relations, and related fields.  For more than 30 years the organization has offered a contest in many categories of communication, with winning entries going to the national competition run by the National Federation

I will now never know what my housekeeper gave my dogs for Christmas. By the time I got back to my office, they had dragged the package off the desk and devoured whatever had once been inclosed in the wrapping that said, “For Blue and Blondie”. I hope to god it was edible.

My wish for the holidays is for someone to give George Bush enough brains to figure out he’s really quite stupid and for someone to give Dick Cheney morals.

If you haven’t made your holiday donation to a charity yet, what are you waiting for? Do you really think God cares if you got yourself a new cell phone or video game console as much as she cares that you thought of someone else on this holiday? C’mon. all you Christians out there.  Wasn’t Jesus about giving, not getting?

One of my dogs was sick on Thursday night. She might have licked up some of the fire splattered grease from the steak. She kept me up all night with her need to go out every 90 to 120 minutes.  Last night I guess I was too tired to hear her. I got up once when she barked and then fell into a very sound sleep.  Who knew she’d have the trots two nights in a row. All over my living room carpet.  And I do mean all over!

I can only assume that if I was younger, I’d have

So in case of emergency, I am apparently genetically programmed to move slowly and deliberately. As my steak set my oven on fire last night, and smoke alarms rang all over the house, and birds started looking glassy eyed from the fumes, all I could think about was whether to use whole wheat or white flour to put it out so that the steak would still be edible. I used white flour and the steak was fine. As for my oven, I’m honestly afraid to even turn it on. I think I’ll wait until my brother the fireman comes here

I’m sitting in my office working when my conure in the next room starts screaming. Now usually Wilson is a pretty mellow bird. But he was definitely upset. So I went out thinking that one of the Senegals had annoyed him and I’d just calm him down. I jokingly said, “What’s up, Wison? Is there a moose scaring you?” Then I looked out his window and there was a moose. He was letting me know that danger was nearby.  You’ve just got to love parrots, don’t you?

Some young whippersnapper in New York is suing a bar on behalf of all young men saying that Ladies Night at the bar discriminates against him. As someone who was front lines of the gender wars to get women treated as equals, let me say this about that. Stop it you little….well, I guess I’m still too much of a lady…no, I’m not. Stop it, asshole!  This is known as that proverbial one step too far. Because based on your theory, every restaurant that offers a buffet discriminates against me because I’ve had bypass surgery and can’t eat much. And