Elise Sereni Patkotak

Some young whippersnapper in New York is suing a bar on behalf of all young men saying that Ladies Night at the bar discriminates against him. As someone who was front lines of the gender wars to get women treated as equals, let me say this about that. Stop it you little….well, I guess I’m still too much of a lady…no, I’m not. Stop it, asshole!  This is known as that proverbial one step too far. Because based on your theory, every restaurant that offers a buffet discriminates against me because I’ve had bypass surgery and can’t eat much. And

I looked in my closet some time in early fall and thought how utterly tired I was of seeing the same old coats that had hung there for seven years. So I grabbed most of them, put them in a bag and brought them to our local shelter with the idea that I would go shopping and buy myself a nice winter coat. Needless to say, I never went shopping. And so I head out the door tonight for a lovely dinner and theater in a blue nylon jacket that is most suited for…well, not going out to the theater. 

It’s too bad the word “whatever” was not around in its current connotation when I was young. I’m guessing it would have immediately constituted at least ninety percent of my communications with my mother.  And it would have definitely been less volatile than the communications we did have.

As more and more Alaskan politicians do the perp walk, my brother Phil reminded me of something someone from our old neighborhood used to say. For all I know, he copped it from someone else. Either way, it’s so appropriate right now in our political life here.

“There is no such thing as an honest man..just a thief without an opportunity”

Shouldn’t we be more concerned about Mitt Romney’s inability to explain his flip flopping positions that seem tailored to the audience he is now trying to woo than how he worships his god? I mean, short of devil worship that involves eating human flesh, who cares? I’m more worried that he seems to be just another self-serving politicians whose beliefs will change to meet whatever audience he’s trying to win over. Though that’s not half as bad as Giuliani, who claims he still believes in his principals but can live with laws that violate them.  Is there not a candidate

Once again I wasted many precious moments of my life… a life, I might add, that has precious few to spare at this point…trying to open the packaging on my toothbrush replacement head. I could be wrong about this but I’m pretty sure the packaging on that replacement could have safely brought a space shuttle through re-entry.  And again I must question why we are wasting earth’s resources packaging tooth brush heads as though they are potential incendiary devices. But wait, help is on the way. There are battery powered scissors being advertised for Christmas as being able to cut

I may have ceded too much power to the stellar jays that come by for food on my back porch. I saw one of my regulars chowing down at the bird feeder on the mixed seeds and realized that the magpies had gotten all the peanuts already. So I went out onto the porch with a bag of peanuts to put some out for the jay.  Not only did he not back away from the feeder, he thoroughly scolded me for interrupting him. I quietly backed away into the house, waited till he’d had his fill at the feeder and

Did you know that springform pans have a top and bottom? And that if you put the top on the bottom, when you lift it up full of batter, the bottom will fall out. Merry friggin holidays!