Elise Sereni Patkotak

America’s bedbug invasion has rapidly spread from New York City to Alaska. I can’t help but be suspicious as to how these critters have suddenly staged such a dramatic recurrence in our lives. Perhaps some mad scientist decided than rather than eliminate us all with some super Ebola virus released into a crowded subway station, he’d just ick us to death with bedbugs.

I find myself reluctant to go to a movie or stay in a hotel or take a plane trip for fear there will be bedbugs around who will follow me home. It only makes sense given that

I sweep around my birds’ cages twice a day, not because I like sweeping but because of the unfortunate correlation between the number of birds that you have and the amount of bird seed that is scattered across your floor every day. Since I have enough pets without adding field mice enjoying the bird diet on the floor, I am fanatical about doing this chore.

My two dogs, lord love them, have not in all their years living here gotten used to this. So every time I turn the sweeper on, they go on alert. These two old girls stand

The thing about Cher is that she was young when I was young. And now that I’m old… she’s still young, albeit in a weird and frozen version of her young self. And god help me, but I look at her and think that would take so much more time and energy than I would ever be willing to put into it.

Along comes a show called Brideoplasty in which brides to be compete to win plastic surgery before the wedding. OMG! Take me. Take me now! I do not want to live on a planet that would green light this show for TV. And I certainly don’t want to hang around long enough to see it actually attract viewers.

If Miller couldn’t get elected and THEN take away our 17th amendment right to vote directly for our senator, he will now try to do it from his un-elected position by disenfranchising every voter he can. What a guy!

Isn’t it about time that someone resurrects mashed potatoes by finding out they have some magical healthy power and hidden nutritional benefits that outweigh the butter and sour cream?

When I moved to Barrow in 1972, the only dental care available over the entire 88,000 square miles of the North Slope was one Indian Health Service dentist who, quite frankly, was paying back a scholarship obligation and had less than great dedication to improving oral health there. So routine dental care consisted of filling and pulling. And often it was the patient doing the pulling because no dentist showed up in some villages for months or years on end.

I took advantage of the lack of dental services to avoid ever seeing a dentist. I thought I was in

I wonder how many lawyers will be able to retire off the money made from the lawsuits over the results of Alaska’s senate race? I wonder how long it will be before Joe Miller crawls back into the hole he came from and leaves us alone?

It’s been three days and still my birds don’t get it.  7 AM is now 6 AM – get used to it! I’m not getting up at 6 AM to feed you.