Author: Elise Patkotak

There are apparently some who think universal health care is a plot to turn us all into socialists. Quite frankly, you are better off looking to the bromance between Putin and Orange Goo to find that.

Some of the arguments you hear most often against universal health care are that if government takes over health care it will fuck up a perfectly functional system and it will cause us to have to wait in line forever to be seen.

The first thing is just laughable. If this is a perfectly functioning health care system, then why are so many people Continue reading →

Depending on where you live in Alaska, summer can be full of fishing or seal hunting or goose hunting or getting that moose for the winter. In all those scenarios, two things are a constant. One, summer in Alaska involves killing something. Two, who the hell knows what the weather may actually be like? And given the fun that global warming brings, you never know from one hour to the next whether it will be cold, hot, warm, rainy, cloudy, windy… and usually, on a good Alaska summer day, you get all three in the space of about four hours. Continue reading →

I make my views on politics known with little attempt to disguise or otherwise obfuscate my feelings about certain topics. But I don’t often endorse a candidate publicly. That’s about to change. There are three candidates running for office that deserve to be elected or re-elected to public office. All three are independent of either of the two major political parties in America today. Maybe that’s why I like them.

First, those deserving of re-election: Governor Walker and Lt. Gov. Byron Mallott. Walker has done an amazing job in the face of a recalcitrant legislature that refused to handle our Continue reading →

First – threaten a foreign power in a text in all caps, the professional and appropriate way to send a threat to a foreign power.

Second – the very next day, send out a conciliatory text to that same foreign power

Third – Don’t tell your own staff what you’re doing so that they are continuing a threatening stance while you are being conciliatory. You know, just to keep the world guessing about how truly insane you are

Fourth – congratulate yourself on once again managing to create another crisis to divert attention from the fact that you are a Continue reading →

As of August 1, an apparently insane individual will be allowed to post online the directions for printing your own gun at home on your 3D printer.

Yep. No more waiting in those long lines at the gun store. No more waking up in the middle of the night because you forgot to print a dozen for your kid’s class the next day. No more last minute panic because you forgot to buy a secret Santa gift. And if someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night… well, given an hour or so to print a gun, Continue reading →

Somehow a fly got in my house. Given my aversion to the outdoors and my reluctance to let any of it indoors, this particular fly must have slipped in during the three seconds the door is open to let the dogs in or out.

At any rate, the one fly that made it in was one of the buzzing ones. I found this out when I got in bed, turned on my reading lights and tried to relax. Wasn’t going to happen. That damned fly would give me just enough time to get settled and then it would buzz me Continue reading →

In a world full of nuclear weapons, racial hate, national divide and neighborly distrust, do we really need that POS currently sullying the White House to be focusing on the NFL. I mean, no offense to the NFL. I gather from the madness surrounding the Super Bowl that it has a lot of fairly fanatical fans. And good for them.

But there are also a lot of us out here who don’t really give a crap. Which is why POS’ focus on whether or not a player is kneeling or standing during the national anthem is really just another attempt Continue reading →

I have to say that I was never attracted to the evangelical arm of Christianity until Melted Orange Goo became their hero. Based on their continued support of him and his actions, I have to say it looks like evangelicals must be having a much better time than their public persona would imply.

So I want in on the fun. I want to be able to lie, cheat, steal, mock the disabled, taunt the dying, destroy families, insult half the human race by grabbing their private parts, and generally not give a damn what it says in the Bible because Continue reading →

When the phone rang this morning I couldn’t answer because I was sitting in front of the computer with a parrot on me who was trying to build a nest under my armpit.

I may not have a large social life, but what life I have is definitely interesting. Continue reading →

News excerpt about the female Russian spy recently indicted:

“The gun-loving Russian woman charged with being an unregistered foreign agent and cozying up to politicians to infiltrate the U.S. political system tried to swap sex for influence, prosecutors alleged Wednesday.”

Is there anyone left alive on this earth who is surprised that sex was being used for influence in this administration? Isn’t inappropriate sex of just about every form and shape imaginable the hallmark of Orange Goo’s supplicants as they destroy our country? It started with Goo and seems to have happily spread throughout his acolytes. That the NRA, that Continue reading →