Elise Sereni Patkotak

Why I don’t own a cell phone… this seems to be an ongoing discussion among friends and family who feel I am somehow depriving myself of a life saving something or other. But honestly, it makes no sense to me so let me try again to help you understand why I hope to be the last person on earth to die without one.

First, I don’t travel very far alone anymore. I drive to the store and back and to the occasional midtown lunch. A cell phone is not needed to guide me there and if anything happened, I’m sure Continue reading →

According to the weather report, yesterday was the only day we would not have snow in about a week. So as someone whose eyesight is limited at best, driving while it’s snowing becomes a real challenge. I decided I needed to re-supply my house with all the essentials so that it could snow as much as it wanted for the rest of the weekend and into next week and I wouldn’t care.

What, you ask, are my essentials. Well, as an older person, I have found that simplifying my life makes it easier on a daily basis. So my essentials Continue reading →

Since Rizley first arrived in my house it became clear he would never be the push over cuddle pillow of wiggles that Snowy is. He was clearly above what he views as Snowy’s groveling, no matter what the situation.

So last night when I saw Rizley snacking out of his food dish at 11 PM, I picked the dish up and reminded him we didn’t eat that late at night because then he pooped on the floor while mom was asleep.

The look I got from him as I took the dish away would have shaken even a stronger woman Continue reading →

No, this isn’t about Orange Peel. It’s the holidays. We should put him in a box and not unwrap him until after the new year so we can all concentrate on what’s really important… straws.

I was at Olive Garden last week – we will pause now to allow my Italian family to collectively gasp in horror – and when the server brought me my diet Coke, a straw was already in it with the paper ripped off.

I know we live in Alaska and sometimes it still takes awhile for news to reach some people but we’re talking about Continue reading →

OK, I really celebrated. I stayed baked from the moment the first article of impeachment passed until I fell asleep smiling last night.

But here’s the thing. By the end of the evening what I was really smiling about was Nancy Pelosi’s refusal to send the Articles to the Senate until the Senate could basically assure a fair trial. Given that McConnell already announced Orange Peel’s innocence, you can see where impartiality would be a real issue.

Given that the Constitution provides no guidance on how long the House can keep the Articles until they are passed on to the Continue reading →

I look out the window and see roads I am mostly comfortable driving on. While some ice is still a problem at intersections, that’s about it.

I approached the coming of winter in Alaska as I have done every year recently. Before the snow fell, I stocked up for winter knowing there would be many days when I couldn’t get out because of ice or snow. Except the ice and snow didn’t happen except for a very brief moment early on. Now my yard looks as it usually does in early spring as the snow melts and the ugly browness Continue reading →

First let me apologize for being away from the blog again for a few days. But, as always, technology defeated me and I had to go to the wonderful Sonya Senkowsky of Alaska Writers for help. It took her about ten seconds to do what I had not been able to do in two days.

But today let’s talk about Governor Mike Dunleavy, Alaska’s own Trump kiss ass. He seems to be spending his time as governor sucking up to every national media outlet that speaks his language… hint, hint – Fox News. He claims he can’t get fair coverage Continue reading →

As I sit here looking out the window at a December day in Anchorage with no snow visible, temps way higher than they should be, rain in the forecast and Stellar jays still coming to my feeder, I’ve got to figure that this kid is definitely on to something.

Here’s the problem. A bunch of old white men – also known at the GOP – has decided that she is wrong and that the dramatic global climate change that is happening right in front of our faces is, in fact, nothing more than a passing moment in history. Needless to Continue reading →

For those of us of a certain age, the term “body count” immediately brings to mind the headlines that ran in newspapers all over the country about the war in Vietnam.

You see, kids, back in the long ago past, we had a war that, like the war in Afghanistan, seemed to go on forever. But we were assured by our military leaders on a daily basis that we were obviously winning because – well, look at the body count.

The body count was released every day based on the number of enemies we had killed that day. I always Continue reading →

If you want to understand how crazed the nuns made us when teaching English in grade school, here’s a prime example. I edit my emails. I write them. I read them at least twice. I then edit them, move sentences around, etc.

So there you go. I am an email editor. And it’s all the fault of Sister Beatrice. Ah, the long reach of first grade teachers.

And did I mention she pulled a piece of candy out of her voluminous habit and gave it to the first child to figure out a reading word. I won a lot of Continue reading →