Yes, you’re right. He is the cutest baby ever born in the whole world. Meet Joseph Patrick Kanayurak Stuermer.
Joe enters our world in debt…. pay up!
Welcome to the world as we know it, Joseph Patrick Kanayurak Stuermer. Your portion of the bill for our national debt with interest will be approximately a gazillion dollars, no personal checks accepted. Please have a certified check for the amount made out to your favorite Uncle Sam ASAP.
OK, I guess I should back up just a minute here and start at the beginning. And, thinking about it, I guess the beginning was back in 1968 when I realized that I could get a scholarship to go to nursing school in Brooklyn and a part time job that would
The best way to read the paper
Read the comics last. That way the front page news gets forgotten in the laughter of the comics. Read Get Fuzzy first. It makes my day start better than the headlines would warrant.
I can take my tiara off now
The Oscars are over so my tiara is retired to its box until next year. And what, you ask, did I get out of this year’s event? Well, I learned that little kids in tuxes are almost inevitably darling looking and when they try to practice their English on national TV, it makes you want to just grab them up and hug them. And I learned that despite the amount of talent that apparently works on this show each year, it is heading down the path of the Miss America Pageant when it comes to keeping an audience interested for
Even I find the relationship too sick for words
Look, I’m about as animal crazy as you can get. My birds and dogs absolutely come first in my life and the wild birds I take care of come second. People are a distant third. My friends and family made peace with that reality a long time ago. But even I find the relationship between the chimp that ripped a woman’s face off last week and his owner way over the line. She apparently gave him wine in long stem glasses while feeding him rich foods as he sat at her dinner table (it’s no wonder he weighed two hundred
It’s Oscar night!
I don’t know about you but this is the most glamorous day of my year. I will mix myself a smart cocktail of sugar free juice and ice, put on my best (cleanest?) sweatshirt and least torn sweat pants, prop my slippered feet on my hassock and sit elegantly wrapped in a warm blanket on my couch while making fun of all those skinny girls in weird dresses. Life doesn’t get much better than that.
One book too many
There are thousands of biographies of Abraham Lincoln and yet it still feels as though we have barely scratched the surface of the intricacies that created him.
We now have two biographies of Sarah Palin and it feels as though the subject is thoroughly exhausted.
Phone trees
I got a call from a company that apparently has some deal with my health insurer to provide me with my prescriptions at no co-pay. Needless to say, they are a mail order company. As attractive as it was to have no co-pay, I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it because it would mean the loss of yet one more person to person interaction and the addition of yet one more phone tree to my life. I just couldn’t handle that. I like the personal contact. I like that they know me. I like that they are more than
He’s here
Joseph Patrick Kanayurak Stuermer joined our world at 2:37 AM on 2/19 weighing in at 7.5 pounds and 19 inches long. Mom and baby doing fine. Old aunt who didn’t get back to her house to go to sleep until 4 AM may never recover unless she can find a way to sleep 24 hours straight.
Hugh..urp!…Hefner, the result of untreated venereal disease?
I was channel surfing the other night when I came upon Hugh Hefner and some young blond women promoting a show in which they appear. As best I could tell from the few moments that I sat there watching with my mouth agape and all belief in human intelligence suspended, this show was about those very young women being that very old man’s girlfriends.
The young ladies in question were about what you’d expect. They couldn’t successfully fill out an application for Hooters but they are qualified to be Hefner’s special friends. They spent most of their airtime exhaling these