Elise Sereni Patkotak

OK, so maybe every election cycle we send Dopey Don back to Congress. And maybe we actually think cold and snow are desirable weather conditions. And maybe we think bunny boots can be part of a formal wear ensemble. But here’s what we also do – we take care of each other.

For those of you in the outside world who haven’t noticed, there was no rioting and looting here after the earthquake. What there was, what Alaskans did instead of looting and rioting, was open up their homes and hearts to anyone who needed help, from shelter to food Continue reading →

The earthquake was bad enough. But the aftershocks are killing me. Every time my stomach calms down and my nerves relax and my B/P drops from astronomical to merely scary, another shake happens and everything starts up again. I think the earthquake center said we’ve had over 600 aftershocks, 17 of which were 4.0 or larger and that’s just damned frightening.

So here’s my theory – this is either the earth telling us to stop messing her up or the earth trying to vomit Trump and all his Republican allies off its surface because it so violates her sense of Continue reading →

OK, for starts, my blood pressure is back below 200 and my pulse is now under 300. So I’m recuperating from the quake. Was sleeping when it hit. Thought I was having a dream. Wish now that it was. But it wasn’t.

Nayla will still not move an inch from my side. I may have survived the earthquake but I’ll die tripping over her.

Everything in every drawer and cabinet and on every wall was on the floor after the quake – some of it broken, some of it floating in the toilet, and a huge wad of bird poop Continue reading →

So POS thinks his gut has more intelligence than the scientists who study climate change. In fact, he apparently believes his gut is better than most people’s brains because that’s where he has located his intelligence cells.

His intelligence cells being directly attached to his intestines seems about right. And what comes out of the other end of those intestines when all those brain cells have been digested is even more appropriate. Because – and let’s be hones here – what comes out of his mouth sounds just like what comes out of his ass on most days.

If, in Continue reading →

If the POS currently sullying the White House had Pinocchio’s nose, he could singlehandedly reforest the world. I haven’t seen that much wood coming out of someone’s face since Bill Clinton claimed he never had sex with that lady. It’s pretty disgusting.

I think CNN did exactly the right thing in putting up a split screen while Sarah Fuckabee Sanders was giving her daily spew of propaganda. They used the split screen to point out every lie she told by posting the truth next to it. I think they should do that with POS. In fact, I think the media Continue reading →

I thought the CheetoMan’s voice was the worse voice ever, the one that causes me to turn off the radio, tv or whatever else is broadcasting that sound, the voice that makes me cover my ears and run out of the room begging god to make it stop. But it turns out, that POS’ voice actually comes in second to the whining drone that is the obnoxious sound coming out of Sarah Fuckabee Sanders’ mouth.

Can you imagine being that woman’s child? Hearing that voice in the womb? Listening to it everyday as it tells you what to do and Continue reading →

I don’t know about you, but I am done with all the female personalities who think they can grab a transient headline by wearing the least amount of clothes possible while calling what they have on an ensemble. I am tired of exposed breasts and asses. I don’t need to see the thong string riding up your ass crack. I don’t need to see your nipples pushing through the gauze you call a shirt. I don’t need slits cut so high that you need to put jewels in your vagina to keep it matching the rest of the outfit.

I Continue reading →

The snow that we here in Anchorage would kill to have has moved to the lower 48. We get a rainy, icy winter and they get all the snow.

People outside of Alaska might not understand this but a lot of people actually live here because they like winter and winter sports. They like all kinds of skiing and skidooing and ice skating. They like walking in the woods when the bears are asleep. They love the whiteness of winter when it first covers our trees and roads.

But this year, god has given all that beauty to the lower Continue reading →

That POS currently sullying the White House announced today that for Thanksgiving, he is grateful for himself. He said this in a phone call to the troops fighting our endless war in the mid-East and those sitting on a border being ordered to fire on unarmed civilians.

What a total ass. Continue reading →

This year, I am thankful for the following:

1. That Supreme Court Justice John Roberts found what must be some of the tiniest balls in modern male history to finally call out Trump over his trashing of the judiciary.

2. That the POS currently sullying the White House has not yet nuked us into total annihilation.

3. That First Lady Melania is still married to that POS so that no other woman has to make the ultimate sacrifice to please our current Sleazeball in Chief.

4. That Americans are finally seeing through the hideous misogyny and repulsive racism that is Continue reading →