Elise Sereni Patkotak

I thought the CheetoMan’s voice was the worse voice ever, the one that causes me to turn off the radio, tv or whatever else is broadcasting that sound, the voice that makes me cover my ears and run out of the room begging god to make it stop. But it turns out, that POS’ voice actually comes in second to the whining drone that is the obnoxious sound coming out of Sarah Fuckabee Sanders’ mouth.

Can you imagine being that woman’s child? Hearing that voice in the womb? Listening to it everyday as it tells you what to do and Continue reading →

I don’t know about you, but I am done with all the female personalities who think they can grab a transient headline by wearing the least amount of clothes possible while calling what they have on an ensemble. I am tired of exposed breasts and asses. I don’t need to see the thong string riding up your ass crack. I don’t need to see your nipples pushing through the gauze you call a shirt. I don’t need slits cut so high that you need to put jewels in your vagina to keep it matching the rest of the outfit.

I Continue reading →

The snow that we here in Anchorage would kill to have has moved to the lower 48. We get a rainy, icy winter and they get all the snow.

People outside of Alaska might not understand this but a lot of people actually live here because they like winter and winter sports. They like all kinds of skiing and skidooing and ice skating. They like walking in the woods when the bears are asleep. They love the whiteness of winter when it first covers our trees and roads.

But this year, god has given all that beauty to the lower Continue reading →

That POS currently sullying the White House announced today that for Thanksgiving, he is grateful for himself. He said this in a phone call to the troops fighting our endless war in the mid-East and those sitting on a border being ordered to fire on unarmed civilians.

What a total ass. Continue reading →

This year, I am thankful for the following:

1. That Supreme Court Justice John Roberts found what must be some of the tiniest balls in modern male history to finally call out Trump over his trashing of the judiciary.

2. That the POS currently sullying the White House has not yet nuked us into total annihilation.

3. That First Lady Melania is still married to that POS so that no other woman has to make the ultimate sacrifice to please our current Sleazeball in Chief.

4. That Americans are finally seeing through the hideous misogyny and repulsive racism that is Continue reading →

Anchorage is having one butt ugly fall/winter. Snow. Rain. Mud. Ice.  Nothing at all attractive about it. We should be looking out our windows and seeing snow frozen solid to the ground. No ice. Certainly no rain or mud. That’s for breakup. Just beautiful white snow heralding the start of the holidays. As Alaskans, we don’t officially get tired of snow until sometime in February.

But this year we have no chance to get tired of the snow based on the few pathetic patches left on my lawn. I get up in the morning and look out on a day Continue reading →

OK, Alaskans. You heard it from the mouth of the head of the party you support. The way to prevent forest fires is to clean the forest and rake those leaves. So everyone grab a rake and head to the Tongass. Is that too much forest for you? How about Chugach State Park? No? Denali?

C’mon, Alaskans. It’s like you don’t even want to prevent forest fires… Continue reading →

Given how many of us come here from there, friends quickly become the family we left behind when we moved to Alaska. This results in the kind of friendships you rarely find anywhere else. The kind of friends who will always surround you and buffer you when needed. The kind of friends who will laugh at you when you are being ridiculous, laugh with you when your funny bone gets tickled and laugh at anyone who though they could get through them to hurt you. Yep, Alaska friends come in all shapes and sizes but the bottom line remains the Continue reading →

If it were not so tragic and troubling, I’d laugh at all the information coming to light about POS’ pick for acting Attorney General of these United (almost) States. If you want to catch up on most of them in a fun way, check out Colbert’s monologue last night.

For sheer embarrassment on a global level, nothing beats having an acting attorney general who once shilled for a company that promised time travel, promoted the reality of Sasquatch and actually sold the concept of a deep toilet for men whose penises were 7 to 12 inches long. Quite frankly, I Continue reading →

The POS currently sullying the White House is in a bad mood because of the recent loss of the House and the general mockery of his inability to handle rain or an umbrella. Under most circumstances, this would be funny. I mean, the guy’s a true asshole and watching him squirm as the world notices should be amusing. But it isn’t because this asshole has access to nuclear weapons.

You know who else has access to nuclear weapons? Kim Jong Un. Yep, that great nuclear deal POS put together turns out to have been made of gossamer. Pretty, see through Continue reading →