Author: admin

Am I the only one who, when buying a Barry Manilow CD, pretends she’s buying it for someone else?

Had that dream again about the captain of Serenity.  I don’t know his name and don’t want to because if I did, I’d feel obligated to send him a note of apology for being possibly the dirtiest old lady he will ever have the privilege of knowing…if only in her dreams.

My house is full of Barrow people down for the state basketball championships.  Barrow boys lost but the Barrow girls are still in the scramble for the title. So the excitement continues and I can’t turn a corner in town without seeing a familiar face from home down for the games.  Meanwhile, poor Mr. T cowers on the stairs afraid to navigate the downstairs sitting room to get to his office pillow because the room is occupied by three wonderful but active young boys and their dad and Mr. T is just not sure at all that this is safe

For some reason yesterday I thought of the song “It’s A Small World” and now I can get it out of my mind. It repeats and repeats and repeats. I try to drown it out with Jimmy Buffet but within seconds the refrain reasserts itself right over the words, “Why don’t we get drunk and screw?” – which, for those of you unaware of this fact, was the official love song of my ex-husband…which may have something to do with why he’s my ex.  Oh, look at that. The song is gone.  Now you have it.  Blessed relief.

While watching TV last night I realized I could literally sense my brain cells screaming and dying from lack of anything that would feed them.  Thank god the Daily Show came on and saved me from total meltdown.

It is positively beautiful out. The new snow has covered all the ugly black ice that emerged over the past few weeks as spring prepared for breakup.  I guess it’s not really breakup unless the stuff melting is black and smelly.  In that category, Anchorage wins hands down for best breakup in the world.

But for just a few more weeks….days?…we have a magically white wonderland with the trees and bushes wearing crowns of white and even the old parked cars on people’s lawns taking on a not horribly ugly persona for a little while. 

Beauty is, after all, very,

I spent more on two outfits I bought yesterday than I have on clothes in the past two years.  But the deed is done.  The mission is accomplished. I have the outfit I will be buried in because trust me when I tell you I will never spend that much money on an article of clothing again.  I have the wedding outfit and the graduation outfit. In my world, that translates to having an outfit to wear after six and one to wear before six.  And I now officially declare my wallet and closet closed. 

As I head out to shop, I have to ask exactly who made up these stupid fashion rules? Why can’t you wear stripes and plaids together? Why will the world end if I wear brown shoes with black pants?  Why the hell can’t I wear white after Labor Day?  Will the earth stop spinning? If I walk out in public dressed in pants with one pattern and a shirt in another will democracies fall?  And why does everyone but me think that a dressy sweatshirt is a contradiction in terms?

AOL has a headline about someone named Jessica Simpson snubbing a GOP fundraiser. At least, I think that’s the story. I didn’t read past the headlines because 1. I don’t care and 2. I don’t care.  If people want an inane and ultimtely useless headline, they should just ponder why I am going to die so poor while someone like Jessica Simpson (who does something that has apparently made her famous but I can’t figure out what it is) is going to die very rich.  Oh God!  Do you think it’s the blond bimbo factor?  I was never good at