Author: Elise Patkotak

First we’re having a summit with North Korea, then we’re not, now we are again. First we’re imposing tariffs on everyone, then we’re exempting our allies, then we’re not. First we’re building a wall that Mexico will pay for, then we’re paying for it, now they aren’t while we’re insisting they are.

We are frigging giving the world whiplash with what is happening at the uppermost echelons of our government. And whiplash is not the recommended governing style for a world with nuclear weapons. It makes everyone very nervous.

Carrying out international diplomacy by Twitter has left America in the Continue reading →

My right shoulder needs cortisone shots to not cause constant pain. The insertion point of some muscle on my right arm hurts if I try to pick up something heavier than a dime. My left shoulder is rapidly following my right shoulder to the shot department. My butt has an inflamed bursa… whatever the hell that is. I don’t even want to look it up. I don’t care what it is. I just want it to stop hurting.

When I first moved to Anchorage and got hanging plants for my porch, I could water those plants by lifting the watering Continue reading →

As that old saying goes, caveat emptor. And that’s why I don’t feel ABC or its executives deserve any praise for the actions they’ve taken in cancelling the Roseanne Show after its main actor tweeted racist and ignorant tweets over the weekend. At one point, she accuses George Soros of complicity with the Nazis in WW II, stealing Jewish wealth and turning Jews in to the Nazis. Soros was 14 WHEN THE WAR ENDED. If he did any of those things she accused him of, he would have to have been the most inspired pre-teen in history given that the Continue reading →

If that man in Paris had scaled Trump Tower instead to rescue an infant, my bet is that the POS currently sullying the White House would not make time to even call him to thank him. Why? Well, just look at the guy. He’s an immigrant. He’s black. He isn’t rich. He isn’t one of about three actors that support POS. He’s not a lobbyist. And, finally, he can’t offer POS financial improvement for the Trump family because he has no connections.

So you can see where this guy would get no respect from POS at all. On the other Continue reading →

I routinely see articles about the POS currently sullying the White House questioning whether or not he might be lying about something. So let me help you with that question. Is his mouth open? Then he’s lying.

See how simple that was. Eliminates the need to do any research on whatever issue he’s lying about. Because you already know the answer. He lies to his wives. He lies to his mistresses. He lies to his lawyers. He lies to his chief of staff. Why would anyone be surprised that he also lies to the American people?

Honestly, if he told Continue reading →

While panicking over the poop coming… or not coming… out of my cockatoo’s butt, I noticed a background sound of Nayla coughing. She sounded like a kid with whooping cough. Except it never bothered her respiration and never seemed to interfere with her food intake (not unusual in this house – your death has to be pretty imminent before the appetite goes). I let it go a day or two and then felt the onset of mother guilt. Since CB’s butt was now considered clear and healed, I felt bad that I hadn’t paid more attention to the three day Continue reading →

A sink hole under the White House. A volcano erupting in Hawaii.  Already hurricane season in Florida. In case you don’t get it, the earth is vomiting forth its opinion of our leaders’s actions over the past year or so. Its judgement is not positive.

We have seen the POS currently sullying the White House reverse everything President Obama ever did to preserve our earth for future generations. POS is doing everything he can to kiss the ass of his extraction buddies without really giving a damn if he leaves anything but a wasteland for Eric and Don Jr. and Continue reading →

It’s no wonder the rest of the world is running from us as fast as they can. We are now conducting international diplomacy with a nuclear power by impulse. If it comes into his head, his tiny little fingers pound it out and hit send without giving it a second thought. I’m guessing that if anyone really wants a fence put up, it’s the rest of the world wanting to put a fence up around us so our insanity doesn’t spread. Ebola outbreaks may be horrifying but they take second place next to POS’ twitter outbreaks.

Oh yeah, speaking of Continue reading →

I care for and deeply love three parrots and a cockatoo. I am what might be called an over-the-top bird person. Have been so for almost fifty years.

So I am well aware that birds can be very fragile if they are ill or injured. I am also aware that birds will hide their illness until right before they drop dead so as not to be seen as the weak member of the flock.

Yesterday as I was doing the morning feeding I noticed that my bare-eyed cockatoo, CB, had a dirty, poopy bottom. Birds tend to keep themselves clean Continue reading →