Author: Elise Patkotak

We all knew it was coming, right? I mean, we all knew it was just a matter of time before it was formally declared. And now we have heard it from the horse’s mouth – though most horses have better looking teeth.

Yep, the truth is not the truth. So proclaimed presidential lawyer and man who should sue his dentist for millions, Rudy Giuliani. We have formally and officially fallen through the looking glass. 1984 is in the rear view mirror and is starting to look normal compared to today. Even George Orwell’s vivid imagination could not equal the reality Continue reading →

I know the  glop of Orange Goo currently sullying the White House is one of the duller pencils in any given box. And I know there is no sharpener that can help him. But seriously, does he really not get the irony of using Twitter to complain about social media cutting off conservative voices? Is he really that thick?

Ok, ok. I think we all know the answer to that.

Here’s the thing. That idiot from InfoWars, in an earlier time, would have been committed to a mental institution and kept there for a long, long time. Unless, of course, Continue reading →

If you are very lucky in life, you get to look back at yours from a distant vantage point and see a world peopled with friends and family who made life a joy. It’s hard to explain this to anyone under sixty. Because you really need at least forty years under your belt before you can say with certainty that this or that friendship has been a mainstay of your existence. Not only that, but often these are the friends who have enough dirt on you from your youth that you don’t dare cross them. Because really, do you want Continue reading →

Those poor, sad racists. They were so afraid of the opposition that they forgot to show up on Sunday for their big rally.

Says something about them, doesn’t it, when they have the biggest advantage they’ve ever had since the Ku Klux Klan fell out of favor in the 60s and they are still too drunk or embarrassed to show up. They have a supporter in the White House and an entire TV channel dedicated to their message. And they are still too afraid of how ugly and hateful their message is to appear in public two years in a Continue reading →

In so many ways, Rudy Giuliani is a typical New Yorker. Except for the half bad teeth and the insanity.

Let’s start with the teeth. Seriously, did he actually pay someone for that? Did he look in the mirror when they were done and NOT think he should sue? He’s got chicklets on the top and what appear to be rotten stumps on the bottom.

Now I understand if he didn’t have any money to fix his teeth. As someone with thousands of dollars invested in her teeth, I’m here to tell you that insurance payments don’t even pretend to Continue reading →

Space Force sounds like it’s the title of a Saturday morning cartoon for kids from the 1960s or 70s. And as an idea, it is both silly and scary.

First of all, the silly part. NASA. No, NASA is not silly. But NASA exists and the word “space” is right there in the title. We are literally re-inventing the wheel. I can only assume this is because the POS currently sullying the White House and his minions in Congress have not yet brought America into complete bankruptcy with their tax break for the rich. So by creating a whole new, Continue reading →

Melania Trump’s parents were sworn in this week as US citizens. Thank god they were able to get by the strict controls being put on immigrants… legal or otherwise… by Trump’s favorite evil dwarf, Steven Miller.

Have you seen this man? Don’t you wish he was an immigrant – legal or otherwise – so we could toss him out. I mean, we’d find a reason. Just like he’s finding reasons to punish legal immigrants for following the law. How dare they? Told they had to get Obamacare, so they did. Now little Stevie is saying he can throw them out Continue reading →

Pundits say we need to separate the political from the personal, especially in today’s toxic atmosphere. But here’s the thing. I can’t. The POS currently sullying the White House has so offended every moral fiber of my being that anyone who still supports him is not someone I want to spend any time with. Don’t care about their perspective. Don’t want to hear their point of view. Doesn’t matter if this POS has fulfilled every one of their warped visions for a new whiter America. Don’t care if the fucker cured cancer at this point. He is such a vile, Continue reading →

I went to a local pot store to pick up some edibles. My lungs haven’t had smoke in them in so long that they rebel if I try to smoke pot. So edibles it is.

As I stood at the counter of a lovely little pot emporium, I asked the very nice and VERY young lady helping me what shatter was. As an old hippie who only ever knew to smoke a joint or bake brownies with it, I used to think I knew all there was to know about pot and pot products. But I’d seen the word shatter Continue reading →

Here’s the thing about family. They drive you crazy. Unless you live in a world where every member of your family is on Zoloft, this is as true about you as it is about me.

The extra added flip with my family is that they come from a region of Italy where being snarky is a way of life and getting sentimental is a sign of weakness. So we don’t do that. We yell a lot. We laugh a lot. The women have actually been known to cry a little together – but not too much. Can’t have that.

As Continue reading →